I Don't Want To Be
by Artemis no Himitsu
Summary: AU. Rated T for mentionings of drug use and things that will pop up in later chapters. Mainly Lucas centric. Let's say that Deb and Karen switched places. Let's say that there's three Scott children. Let's say that I feel like making Lucas miserable.
1. Heading Home

**I Don't Want To Be**

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_Standard Disclaimers Apply._

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Note: This is AU. _Deb_ Roe is Lucas' mom. Dan and _Karen_ are married with two children – Nathan and Crystal. There are other things, but I'll just let you read and find those out.

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----- … scene change or indicated flashback

_Italics _… thoughts

**Bold **… emphasis

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I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 1: Heading "Home"

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A blonde-haired woman stared at the ceiling of her too small room in a too small motel. It was the sixth one they had been in for the week, one per day. Tomorrow they, being her and her son, would arrive in a town she never wanted to come back to – Tree Hill, North Carolina. The place she had tried so hard not to return to, for her sake and her son's. She had to be strong, but she couldn't be strong on her own. Strength wasn't something that she had in spades.

_Speaking of which…_ Her eyes fell on the bottle of pills she had "sworn off" and the large brown bag next to it. What was in the bag? Oh, vitamins for her son, an apple or two, a small box of cookies, a couple of microwavable dinners, and a bottle of vodka…you know, the usual. There was nothing usual about it and Deb knew it. The guilt was killing her even now. She was supposed to quit that, to be a better mother…

Deb smiled sadly at the blond boy sitting on the floor. She could only see a bit of his head, but knew what he was doing. Reading. Give him a book and he'd be satisfied for as long as it took him to read it. If he really liked it, or if he was just that bored, he'd read it again. There wasn't much she could do for him right now, since they were in a hotel and there was no library around. Harry Potter suited him just fine for right now though. He probably thought it was a little childish, but didn't have anything better at his fingertips right now.

Running a hand through her disheveled hair, Deb tried to pull it together. Her mother, who had passed about two years ago, had left her the house and the café she had owned. Deb would have been happy to take them, but there was a problem. A big problem.

Both were in Tree Hill. She loved her mother, really, but she just couldn't bring herself to come back for it. So she let Keith handle it. Even though he was the older brother of the man she despised, she liked him. She always had. Keith was nothing like Dan and she thanked God every day for it. But now, somehow, Keith wasn't being allowed to keep a hold on the café and the house. _I wonder why…_ It had Dan's name written all over it. _God how I hate him. _Only one good thing came of her…dealings…with Dan.

_Lucas._

Yes, Lucas, her little blue-eyed angel that kept her going from day to day. He was what made her struggle on…Deb was just glad she had gotten something right in life. Lucas was quiet, always had been, and she wasn't sure if it was just his nature or a result of his constantly changing environments.

_Or maybe it's the fact that his mother drinks so much and uses pills for things other than headaches and cramps. _Not that the innocent boy knew that. Deb did her best to shield her baby from things like that – she didn't want such things 'tainting' him…didn't want there to be any chance of him ending up like her. _So far so good._

She tried to quit, really she did, but it was just so **hard**. It shouldn't have been that difficult really, but it was. It was hard and it practically destroyed her to admit it to herself every time she swallowed a pill, a swig of alcohol, or worse - both. The pills she could do without, most of the time…

_But the drinks…_ She needed the alcohol; they let her mind forget all she had been through and all she would still have to face - if only for a little while. And at this point, she would take any break she could get. Lucas was wonderful inspiration, but sometimes he wasn't enough. And that killed her. _I'm a horrible mother. _Lucas should have been more than enough to keep her clean and strong.

* * *

It wasn't like Lucas was a bad child. On the contrary, he was sweet, polite, and hardly ever misbehaved. And when he did, no harm was done – more often than not his antics were cute and brought a smile to her face and/or made her laugh. He was her little ray of sunshine for her many dark days.

But he was still a child, a growing boy with growing needs. She needed to take care of him and his necessities, and that was hard for a single mother- with no steady job - working whatever odds jobs she could so that they could live a decent life.

It wasn't so bad that Deb had to worry about where their next meal would come from, unlike the beginning of things. Her father had refused to help, doing his best to keep her mother from supporting her daughter like she had wanted to. Her mother had adored Lucas and managed to support Deb in secret for two years before their 'cover' was blown.

Unable to stay in a town she was unwelcome in, save for her mother's love, Deb fled. She took her two-year-old son, hopped on the first cross-city bus she found, and rode it to the end. She ended up in Florida…then Georgia…then Kentucky…they had gone waaaay over to California for a while, but ended up going back to Florida.

She feared that so much moving was taking its toll on her son. He grew more and more quiet with each move…less and less inclined to go out and make friends… It was worrying. He hardly left whatever was serving as their home unless it was for school, the store, or to play basketball. Deb smiled slightly, eyes still on the ceiling. Lucas loved basketball, she could tell. He seemed so relaxed and happy when playing – even if he was all by himself. And he was good, or so she supposed. Deb wasn't big on sports, but Lucas always sank his shots and that was good in her book for a twelve-year-old.

_Too bad that it couldn't have been random interest. _She knew very well where Lucas' adoration for basketball came from, no matter how badly she wished to deny it. The woman could try to reason out that love for a sport was not genetic, but in this case, she whole-heartedly believed it. If anyone could be capable of passing on a love for the game, it would be Dan Scott. There was no doubt in her mind that that was where Lucas' love for basketball came from.

But that was okay. It was fine. Lucas knew nothing of his father and after two years or so of getting no answer, he seemed to have given up all interest in knowing. That was great because Deb didn't want him to know. He couldn't know. Knowing that his father had abandoned them both was enough; she didn't want to hurt him any further. Deb clenched the bottle of liquor a little tighter. She was hungry, but that could wait. Lying here was good for now…

_See? The numbness makes it all hurt so much less… _If only she could convince everyone else of that…

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Just an experimental chapter there. Short? Yeah, I know, but that's how I operate. As a note, this is my first One Tree Hill fanfiction story. So should I quit while I'm ahead or keep on truckin'?


	2. More Than You Know

**I Don't Want To Be**

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_Standard Disclaimers Apply._

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Note: Just in case you somehow missed this in the first chapter...

This is AU. _Deb_ Roe is Lucas' mom. Dan and _Karen_ are married with two children – Nathan _and Crystal_. There are other things, but I'll just let you read and find those out.

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------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback

_Italics _… thoughts

**Bold **… emphasis

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I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 2: More Than You Know

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Deb was wrong. Lucas knew a lot more than she thought he did. He wasn't as satisfied as she thought he was, but he did accept it all the same. It was not, however, because he was the accepting type. Just taking his life as is sucked, but he would do it. He did do it. He did it for her. Lucas didn't bother to shift up and turn around because he knew what he would see. He would see his mother sprawled out on the bed in a barely-there state of mind, liquor in one hand and maybe a bottle of pills in the other.

He didn't know what exactly the pills did, but guessed they were for a headache from drinking so much. That was wrong, but he didn't know that. The blond boy remembered asking what they were for one time, but his mom had only told him that it was to make her feel better. He accepted that, didn't like it, but he accepted it. After all, his mother had to do so much and work so hard to put food on the table, clothes on their backs, and a roof – however temporary it may be – over their heads… The least he could do was not question what did or did not make her feel better.

But he hated how she got sometimes. Times like these that involved him not knowing where they were going or why. Times that had him as the only coherent occupant of the room. Ice blue eyes glanced at the clock and he frowned. _It's getting late. _It was about a quarter to ten and they hadn't eaten yet. She had bought stuff to eat, but hadn't cooked it – or rather, put it in a microwave – yet. Nothing fancy, just what looked like chicken tenders and mashed potatoes. Soup would have been better; his mother would need something like that to settle her stomach tomorrow.

That is, if they had the time. His mother never did say what time they were supposed to be leaving tomorrow... Sighing as he looked over at the figure on the bed, Lucas figured that they probably wouldn't have time for breakfast, soup or otherwise. Cooking soup was easy. He had learned how to cook because sometimes his mom was…unable to do it herself. Other things like actual mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, pancakes, blah blah blah,were okay for him to cook too.

No movement came from the bed for several more minutes and Lucas sighed again as he stood up. He turned around and shook his head. _Why am I not surprised? _His mother was staring at the ceiling, mumbling about something. He couldn't hear her, but wasn't curious enough to get close and find out. _Why do I love her so much? _Because she was his mom and she sacrificed again and again to provide for him as best she could.

He was just a child and could only do so much to comfort and help her. _That's why she drinks so much, _he told himself. It was the only reason he could come up with. The only one he could live with, or deal with rather, for now. Wanting to help all he could, Lucas learned to do things for himself. He learned how to clean, cook, do laundry, and anything else she'd let him handle so that his mother could focus on more important things.

He always did his best to learn the way to the nearest grocery store or mini-mart or whatever. Sometimes his mother was just too tired or stressed to go to the store and/or cook, so he did it for her. But again, there was only so much he could do. _Soon I'll be old enough to try andget an actual part-time job; one where I'm doing something other than cutting grass. Maybe I can get a job at the local store or something... _

Lucas was fairly sure that this place they were moving to would have some little store or café; some small place that allowed for really young employees. _Maybe..what did Mom call it? The job where people make all that money by doing some math work. Umm..oh! Accounting. Yeah, that's it - accounting. _He was really good at math, but all his teachers said he was a pure genius with English. _But being good at English won't get me a part-time job though…_ So that was out. Besides, accounting couldn't be that hard. It was just counting how much people had spent...right? Well, that was his basic child outlook on it anyway.

In any case, he'd just have to bide his time and do what he could until the years decided to progress a little less slowly. It was weird how everything seemed to be happening so fast, but time itself seemed to be going by so slowly. Lucas sighed before he put his half-eaten microwavable dinner in the trash. He felt so bad for not eating it all, for being wasteful, but he couldn't eat another bite.

His appetite had been waning lately; he just hadn't been feeling all that hungry. Sometimes the thought of eating food made him feel sick. The blonde boy opted not to say anything about it to his mother. His mom would freak out, as she always did whenever he seemed to be even slightly ill. Despite this seemingly overly-mothering behavior, Deb was justified. Lucas rarely got sick, but when he did...it was pretty bad. Even simple colds or fevers could end up with him bedridden for days on end.

* * *

Lucas sighed as he pulled the covers over his mother. She was, by all appearances, dead to the world. As usual. Not tired, but not having anything better to do, Lucas laid down too. But that was only after packing what little stuff they had brought into the room with them, putting the near-empty bottle in the trash, setting a bottle of water on the nightstand by his mother, and moving the pills to her purse. Sure that every thing was in order for the next morning, Lucas then went to lie down, trying to get some rest.

* * *

Deb bolted up, before flopping back down. _Ugh…_ She felt like she was about to throw up. What had she been **doing**? One eye cracked open, fully expecting to see a mess of dirty blond hair at the end of her bed. … She didn't. Starting to panic a little, Deb sat up, looking around. Her eyes fell on the curled up child next to her and she breathed out sigh of relief. When had he gotten there? And why was it bright out? Head feeling fuzzy, Deb reached for her purse. Rummaging around it until she found some aspirin, the woman confusedly grabbed the bottle of water on the nightstand. _That hadn't been there earlier…right? _

After swallowing a pair Advil pills and chasing them down with water, Deb laid back down and waited for her mind to clear up a bit. Thirty minutes later, Deb sat up slowly and rubbed her temples. She ran a hand through her hair and groaned miserably. Then she froze.

_Oh no…_ She knew what had happened now. Last night she had, doubtlessly, gotten carried away and succeeded in 'lessening the pain' by passing out. _Lucas must have gotten everything together before going to bed…_

Honestly, she didn't deserve a son like Lucas. Looking over at the little boy beside her, Deb bit her lip. They'd have to leave soon… She looked over at the clock and then at the sleeping boy. He was out like a light. She didn't want to wake him. She carefully stood up looked around the room. She could wake him up later, let him grab as much rest as possible before the long ride to their new home

Bags in the car and room paid for, Deb brushed her son's hair back. "Lucas," she whispered. He didn't stir at all. "Lucas?" Nothing. Deb frowned. _He must be really tired. _But he had to get up, as Deb could not carry him. She could try, but the woman doubted it would end prettily. She didn't want to chance dropping him. Deb shook her son again, a little harder this time. "**Lucas**." She continued to call for him and would progressively grow louder until he decided to wake up.

* * *

Lucas groaned. Who the hell was shaking him? _Where am I? _The twelve-year-old was somewhere between that blissful state of not having to face reality and not knowing what the hell was going on. In other words, he was almost half-awake. He heard his name again and recognized the voice. Then reality kicked in and he mentally sighed as he sat up. The shaking stopped and he stretched, rubbing one eye with his fist. _What time is it?_

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Lucas yawned again as his brain tried to remind him of what was supposed to be going on. Sleepy blue eyes took in the sight of his mother crouching in front of him, a smile on her face. Why was she so damn happy? Lucas was feeling a little grouchy. For once, he had been enjoying his dreams. He had found a friend, an honest-to-God friend, and they weren't moving away this time. Even after reflexively pushing them away and all that, this mystery person he couldn't remember stayed by his side. They had fun together. It had been..nice. Too nice. Lucas and this person had been at some theme park before he was shaken awake.

For a moment, Lucas reflected on how sad it was that his one of best dreams consisted of him doing something so simple as hanging out with someone without fear of something bad happening. _Well that's life for you. _His mother was still crouching, apparently waiting for his mind to come back reality. "I'm up," he stated.

She smiled, nodded, and told him that it was time to go. Oh yeah, they were going to his grandma's place and his mom was supposed to run her café or something. The idea of living in his deceased grandparents' home sort of disturbed him and Lucas just hoped he didn't end up sleeping in their room. But whatever, it wasn't like he remembered either of them. Probably hadn't met them either. _Come to think of it… _Lucas didn't even **know **any other members of their family. He frowned, having never thought of that before. _Weird. _Why hadn't he ever met anyone else? So what if they moved around a lot, he still should have met **somebody**. A cousin. An aunt. **Anybody**.

Oh but wait, he had met one. His Uncle Keith. Sometimes the man would show up and stay with them for a few days. It was usually sometime around them moving into a new place. _Hey! Uncle Keith stays in Tree Hill. _So at least there was that. Aside from his mom having a guaranteed steady job with the ownership of the café and the guaranteed residency…having his uncle be there was the only otherpositive thing he could pull out of this move.

* * *

Deb worriedly looked over at her son. Lucas wasn't a talkative child, but he was being unusually quiet right now. Throughout the entire ride to their new home, he had said nothing. Even when she had tried to start up some small talk, he had replied with soft, one-sentence or one-word answers. The blonde woman briefly mourned the temporarily loss of communication with her son. He was all she had, her only constant in life. The same went for him. They were usually able to talk to each other withan ease that most parents would kill for. There were times that they could spend hours talking about absolutely nothing– just random stuff–for hours.

But now she was met with silence, and the guilt of knowing that she was mostly responsible for his present misery was starting to creep in. As they neared their destination, she had told him that they wouldn't be moving anymore after this; that this was it for real this time. This got a reaction, but not the one she had been hoping for. He blinked and turned his head to stare at her for a good three minutes. Stopping at a red light, she stared back, waiting for him to say something, **anything**, even if it was to accuse her of lying. She had promised him this once before and it had broken his heart - and hers - when she broke that promise.

Her son had taken a breath and then said, "Oh, okay." That was it. 'Oh, okay.' To his credit, Lucas had looked slightly surprised by the declaration/promise. _Probably stunned by my audacity. "Is she seriously trying to promise this to me? **Again**?" That's probably what he's thinking,_she thought sadly.He had gone back to staring out of the window shortly after that. Deb wasn't sure what she had been hoping for in his reaction, but she was sure that hadn't been it. She joined in Lucas' silence until they reached the house.

* * *

"Keith!"

Keith Scott turned around and was met with an armful of womanly curves. _Deb. _He took in a deep breath, inhaling her scent, as he hugged her tight. "I'm sorry I couldn't…you know, hold on to it all."

Deb shook her head, smiling brightly. "That's okay Keith, I owe you for guarding it this long." She looked up at the house, her parents' house. "Thank you," she whispered with a soft smile.

Keith wasn't sure if she was talking to him or not, so he said nothing. Arm around her shoulder, both adults stared at Deb and Lucas' new home. "We can swing by the café later if you like."

She nodded, thanking him.

"Want help unpacking?" he offered. He received no answer, prompting him to tilt his head down and to the left to look at Deb. She seemed distracted. "Deb?"

Deb gave him a 'Hmm?', looking like she was searching for something.

"Deb what is it?" Instead of answering, she turned around. He turned with her…and instantly knew the problem.

Lucas.

His nephew was still in the car. He was staring out of the window, seemingly lost in his own little world. "That kid gets more and more broody every time I see him." He had said it lightly, like a joke, but it was sort of true. Lucas seemed to become increasingly withdrawn, only getting worse with every move. He knew that this devastated Deb, seeing her energetic, bright-eyed baby boy slowly grow into a withdrawn, sad-eyed teen that spent most of his time brooding over something or other. It killed him to see it too. He rubbed her arms in a comforting gesture. "I got him. You go ahead inside, okay?"

Deb gave Keith a thankful smile and nodded, but didn't go anywhere. She wanted to see this. He could usually get through to Lucas when he was like...like 'this'. She watched the man approach the car and tap the window. Her son blinked several times and then stared at Keith as if wondering when he had gotten there. Keith said something, smiling, and Lucas didn't reply, but got out of the car. Keith hugged her son and held him out at arm's length. Whatever he said next made Lucas shake his head in denial.

The older man ruffled Lucas' blond hair and gestured to their bags. The man tapped his arm and then Lucas', smiling as he continued to talk to the silent boy. Lucas offered a weak smile, shaking his head again. Her eyes watched the two most important men in her life as they started to unload the car. Keith almost dropped a bag, one of her bags no less, and Lucas stared at the flustered man who was obviously complaining about what all she could possibly have in there. Lucas laughed for a few seconds, his smile a little brighter. Keith didn't seem to mind that his nephew's amusement was at his expense.

Deb was ecstatic; there was hope yet. Maybe, with Keith's help, she and Lucas both could adjust to their new life. It was, at the very least, a start. A step in the right direction.

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Did you like it? Not a lot of action, but I'm just trying to set things up here without rushing through it **too **much. Anyway, you know the drill. Feedback is an authoress' best friend...or something like that. Review please.


	3. May I Take Your Order?

**I Don't Want To Be**

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_Standard Disclaimers Apply._

Note: This is AU. _Deb_ Roe is Lucas' mom. Dan and _Karen_ are married with two children – Nathan _and Crystal_. There are other things, but I'll just let you read and find those out.

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------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback

_Italics _… thoughts

**Bold **… emphasis

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I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 3: May I Take Your Order?

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"May I take your order?"

If there was one thing Lucas was sure he would never understand, it was old women and their endless fascination with his hair and cheeks. This fact was illustrated by the two old women who were currently insisting on ruffling his hair, pinching at his cheeks, and telling him how cute he was. _This is crazy. Just **order **something already! _Granted, they had ordered something, but that had been two hours ago. Then they came back. _Don't they have anything better to do? _He felt his cheek being pinched again. _Ugh...apparently not._

Deb had taken to the café, with some instruction from Keith, with all the ease of a fish to water. Lucas was proud of how well his mom was running the little place. It had been a little rough at the start of the summer, and there had been days that his mom was ready to just sell the café and be done with it. But as it turned out, she hadn't had the heart to give it up. It had the potential to be a good, steady job if she would just stick with it. So she stuck with it, never giving up during the slow/no business days. And now things were starting to pick up.

Lucas, having nothing better to do, worked as a waiter. His mom had, out of the blue, asked him if he would work for her. The boy had said he would help her with anything she thought he could do, but refused the money. And so his summer was spent in and out of the café. Which brings us back to the present – with twelve-year-old Lucas Scott trying to get the order of the two old ladies.

* * *

"Is it working?"

Deb looked over at her son and then back to Keith. Sharing a conspiratorial smile, she whispered back, "Like a charm. I told you so."

"Yeah, yeah." Keith, seated on a stool, watched as his nephew patiently waited for the customers to leave his hair alone long enough to order. "I'm telling you, Luke has the patience of a saint. Ms. Johnson and Ms. McPherson have been messing with him all afternoon."

"But they've been ordering all afternoon too. Luke is a customer magnet, just like I said he'd be." Deb was fairly pleased with how her little plan had worked out. Lucas had told her how the old ladies on porches in their neighborhood would stophim when he returned from the walks he went on everyday. Okay, so it was more like he complained about it, but anyway. Polite as always, Lucas never failed to indulge the women in whatever they stopped him for – cookies, Scrabble, checkers, a card game, etc.

He didn't get it, but Deb did. Her son was adorable with his baby face, blue eyes, halo of blond hair, andhis quiet, shy behavoir wasadorable to most. People were drawn to his sweet demeanor. Deb dreaded Lucas growing up, inevitable as it was. He could bring all **kinds** of girls home… _That's okay, I'll just need to be sure that I'm scary enough to ward off the more…wild girls. Can't have them corrupting my baby._

But back to the older women of Tree Hill. Well, there were a **lot **of older, bored women in Tree Hill with nothing better to do than sit around, watch TV, read, knit, etc. – basically, nothing. Deb figured that she could add an option to that list – eating out at the café. Besides, in a town like this, you have to start with the older people before trying to win over the younger ones. It was like establishing a foundation of some sort.

Deb found it funny how these same people were the ones that had scorned her for having Lucas in the first place. But Deb wasn't really one to hold grudges. There was one exception concerning 'He Who Shall Not Be Named', but he wasn't important – never was and never would be. _He had his chance. _

And he had blown it big time.

* * *

"Okay, now Meredith, we should make our order and let this young man get back to his work," Ms. Johnson said.

"Right, right. What should we order Mary?"

Lucas just hoped they wouldn't take twenty minutes going over everything on the café's menu. He was in luck; they only took ten minutes this time.

"Oh, I've got it! How about some tea Meredith?"

"That sounds wonderful Mary. And those sandwiches there – they look delicious."

"Good, so we'll have two teas and two of those sandwiches there." She pointed to the glass case that had what they wanted in it.

_Thank **God**. I thought they'd never order. _Lucas wrote down their requests as legibly as he could and went to the counter. "Two teas and two of…of…those." He pointed to the same case as before.

Deb smiled as her son handed her the order and went to retrieve the items. "Coming right up!"

Three customers came in just then: an old lady, a younger woman, and a baby girl. Lucas wondered if he and his uncle were the only males in town. Well no, that was wrong. He had seen some boys down at this court he had found while walking one day. Lucas hadn't approached them; just watched as they played basketball together. But aside from them, all he had seen were girls/women. _Back to work I guess._

* * *

"Should I be jealous? My nephew seems to be able to get more women than me."

Deb laughed at Keith. "That's my baby; a real charmer."

"It isn't fair you know; he isn't even trying!" He was smiling though, knowing his nephew sort of hated the attention. "All he did was play with the baby, get a giggle out of her, and bam, instant adoration."

"All women love a guy that can handle babies. It's sweet and shows their sensitive side."

Keith looked over at his nephew. The young lady was showing him how to burp the baby. Or trying to anyway. Right now, nothing of the sort was happening. "How does letting a baby drool all over your shoulder help show your sensitive side?"

Deb looked up from putting Ms. McPherson and Ms. Johnson's order on a pair of trays. "It just does."

Keith shook his head. _I'll never understand them – women or babies. _He looked over in time to see the disdainful look on his nephew's face. The baby had burped…and then saw fit to spit up on him. The older Scott laughed at his nephew's misfortune.

"Not funny Uncle Keith!"

* * *

Deb came home, shop closed. She had been thinking as she drove home. Naturally, her thoughts turned to the bright spot in her life – her son. Now that she was home, she felt worried. Lucas hadn't mentioned meeting any friends over the summer. He seemed to spend most of his time with her at the café, with Keith, or on his walks. Lucas never mentioned making any friends, so she assumed that he really hadn't met any. Deb was worried that a repeat of the past was coming, and her son would avoid making any friends at all.

Both she and Keith had done their best to make sure Lucas knew and understood that this was permanent. They weren't moving anymore, so he was free to make friends without fear of having to leave them behind. Keith had talked to her about getting him to a therapist. It would be good for Lucas. She had read somewhere that moving around a lot can sometimes cause psychological and emotional damage to young children and teens. She wanted to get her son some professional help, really she did, but they just couldn't afford it…

_One day, _Deb told herself, _one day I won't have to say that all the time. _

"Lucas?" she called out. She had sent him home an hour or two before she had closed the café and headed home. Her son wasn't answering and she found herself panicking slightly. It was irrational, but she couldn't help it. Lucas wasn't the type to just run off and not say anything, but being the quiet child he was, finding him could take a little time if he couldn't hear you. And as his mother, she worried about him a lot anyway. He **was **here…right? He had come straight home, hadn't he?

"Lucas?" Still nothing. Deb walked through the kitchen, purse left on the table.

"Luc—" Her call was cut off and a soft smile came to her face. She'd found him.

* * *

Lucas was exhausted. He was thankful for his mother sending him home. The blond boy didn't even make it to his room. He flopped onto the couch, telling himself he would rest here for a little while and then go take a shower, enter his bedroom, and go to sleep.

He did not count on being so tired. He had fallen asleep as soon as hit head had hit the cushion. Lucas did not hear the door open and close, nor did he hear his mother calling for him. The boy was just too tired to wake up as easily as he usually did. Otherwise, he would have answered her.

He felt a hand shaking him, causing him to wake up. His mother was smiling at him. "Hey sleepy head," she said to him. "Why don't we get you to your room, hm?"

Lucas blinked slowly, waiting for his mind to wake up fully. It wasn't happening. He lifted his head and looked in the direction of where his mother was trying to him. _Too far…_ He'd become lazy, and was more than happy to just sleep here on the couch. "…" He groaned and laid his head back down.

His mother laughed as she pulled him up, but Lucas was not amused. He got up, leaning heavily on her. A yawn escaped him as they reached his room.

"Come on sweetie, you need to rest up for your big day tomorrow."

Big day? What big day? He must have made some questioning or confused noise because she looked at him funny as she said, "School, Lucas, you have school tomorrow. First day remember?" He grimaced.

_Oh joy._

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That's chapter three folks. Sorry for the long wait, but school has been crazy with finals coming up. I'll try to get chapter four up within a week. Next chapter: Exceptions.


	4. Exceptions

**I Don't Want To Be**

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_Standard Disclaimers Apply._

* * *

Note: This is AU. _Deb_ Roe is Lucas' mom. Dan and _Karen_ are married with two children – Nathan _and Crystal_. There are other things, but I'll just let you read and find those out.

* * *

------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback

_Italics _… thoughts

**Bold **… emphasis

* * *

I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 4: Exceptions 

* * *

Lucas was not happy, and it showed. Today had mostly sucked, but this class was an exception. He was in English, the only class that hadn't bored him to tears. People had been staring at him as if they had never seen a new kid before, some of the teachers had been giving him weird looks he didn't understand, and there was this pair of girls who **had** to be stalking him. Other than that, he was being completely ignored – which was fine.

They were given a book to read. Some parts of the book would be read in class by the teacher, and other parts would be assigned as homework. In order to make sure her students read it, Mrs. White required a summary of the required reading. Unlike his other classes, Lucas really liked this one. He always had loved reading – and he loved writing even more.

This class would be a piece of cake, more so than the others anyway. Compared to his last school, this would be a breeze.

_Until we move again anyway. _Keith and Deb had been right to worry. Lucas did not believe they would be staying here forever. Maybe they'd be sticking around a lot longer than they usually would stay around, but they'd leave eventually.

They'd leave – again. And he'd be uprooted and forced to adjust to a new school system, rules, and classes – again. He'd have to abandon any favorite spots and running trails – again. And, of course, he'd have to leave any friends he had managed to make – **again**. It was a very old pattern that left him feeling more and more depressed with each move. But he fell for it all, every time. Someone would reach out and he'd crack at some point. What could he say? _No one **really** wants to be alone._

Lucas sighed. He didn't want to be alone, he wanted to make friends, but he didn't want to deal with the pain when they moved. Except...this place felt like it'd be different. Lucas shook his head, trying to pay better attention to the reading. _I can't afford to... _Lucas sighed mentally. He'd just have to try harder to be unaffected.

* * *

The bell rang and Lucas was in no hurry. He'd be walking home today. His mom was working, and with so few hired hands, the café needed her. She had said she could get him, but Lucas had, of course,said it was okay – he would walk home. It wasn't that far...right? Keith was busy too. He, like his mother, had to work (at a garage though), but had offered to swing by and get him.

Lucas declined the offer. It was fine; the exercise would be good for him anyway. Stuffing his backpack with his English and math books, plus two of his notebooks, Lucas shut his locker and headed outside. Ignoring the kids rushing to cars with their parent or parents or whoever in them, Lucas prepared to walk home. He turned to start down the sidewalk...

And nearly had a heart attack.

There was a brown-haired girl in front of him and he couldn't help but feel as though he should know her. Maybe she had went to one of his old schools? She wasn't saying anything, as if she hadn't just scared the crap out of him, just timidly studying him. Her face had 'I'm not sure you're the person I'm looking for' written all over it.

"Umm…can I help you?"

She seemed startled by his voice, as if she had been expecting him to just stare back and/or walk away. "Um, uh, well…"

Lucas mentally sighed. _Be nice. _Funny how that voice sounded like his mother. "Do I know you?" Off the girl's smile, Lucas figured that he had met her before and simply didn't remember her.

"You remember me then?"

"Not exactly…" Her sad expression made him feel guilty. "Who are you?"

"Haley. Haley James." She gave him a little smile. "I-It's okay though. We were really little when we first met here in Tree Hill."

Lucas gave her a confused look. How could she possibly remember him? He, personally, didn't remember anyone from Tree Hill. If it happened before he was...five, he didn't remember it. "But…my mom took me and moved from Tree Hill when I was **two**."

Haley nodded. "I know. I only remember you through pictures really. It is kind of weird though, isn't it?" She didn't let him respond. "I mean, you were two, and I was one – or that's what my mom said and you never really know with her, I could have been two too. But anyway, there are pictures in one of the photo albums of the two of us playing together, or me harassing you. Like the picture of me pulling on your hair while you tried to pry my fingers off. Or the picture of you trying to retrieve your teddy bear, but I was trying to eat it. Or the picture of…"

Lucas was dazedly trying to keep up with all that was being said to him. She sure didn't look like the type to talk so much. But he had to go, or he'd act like it anyway. "Excuse me—"

"And there are a whole lot more picture that I could show you, but not at my house because that place is like a zoo. A really scary zoo full of kids that are older than me and should be gone and my, um, 'special' parents, and..just..you really don't want to go there. Maybe I could show you at the Rivercourt. Do you know where that is? I could show you—"

She wasn't listening to him. Idly, Lucas noted that the two of them had been walking the entire time. He was starting to wonder if he should bother trying to stop the rambling girl. _Eh…maybe not. _She seemed nice enough, and he did feel bad for not remembering her like she did him – even though she had the aides of pictures and her mother's side comments. Her chatter was sort of…comforting too. _It makes the walk seem less lonely somehow. _He sighed.

_Thought you were keeping people at a distance, _mental voice commented. Lucas glanced over at the girl. _Well, maybe just her. _Yes, she could be the exception. They knew each other already – um, sort of – so this didn't really count. _Yeah, yeah that's it. _At the very least, that was a good enough excuse for Lucas.

* * *

Seriously though, didn't she need to breathe? "Haley."

"Are you good in math and science? If you think you'll need help or anything, I can do it. I'm really good at those, and I'd be glad to help you. I suck at English though, are you any good at it?"

Lucas didn't bother to answer; he knew she would go on as if he had. "Haley."

"You know, when you reach tenth grade, they let you tutor people. I think I'd like to do that. Do you think it's a good idea?"

"**Hales**!" He wasn't sure where 'Hales' came from, but it sounded cool and had the added bonus of getting her attention. It was either that or the fact that he had yelled.

Haley blinked before turning red. "Oh! I was just rambling on and on wasn't I?" At Lucas' nod, she gave him a sheepish look. "I'm so sorry. I don't usually talk that much." The blond boy gave her a slight smile and Haley prayed that she hadn't scared him off or anything.

"So, um…"

Lucas was starting to think that he should have just let her go on. With no chatter coming from her, both parties were left to find something to say. Haley didn't know what to say now that she had been thrown off her rambling track. Lucas wasn't having much luck either.

As we all know, Lucas wasn't much of a talker. He listened. In any given 'clique', if he was in one, Lucas was usually the quiet peacemaker.

He was the listener.

_"That's what you do Lucas; you listen real good and, um, fix stuff." _Not the most eloquent of words, but coming from a fourth grader, it wasn't too bad. "Um…yeah."

* * *

Haley really wasn't sure why she had felt the urge to just talk and talk and **talk **that way. But once she had started, she had found herself just rambling about **anything** and everything her twelve-year-old mind could come up with. Lucas' silence didn't make her feel like he was ignoring her, even when she tossed questions at the end of some rambling.

He was just...really quiet, that's all. Like her, but a whole lot worse. They couldn't both be the 'quiet one', so she played the role of the 'talkative one', the one that filled the silence. It felt like they were...friends. And maybe that would weird him out a little, since he didn't really remember her and they had only 're-met' today. But…that's how she felt. Haley felt like they were well on their way to being the best of friends.

She didn't have a lot of friends, so Lucas would be a welcome addition. _I wonder if he can play basketball. _Of the few friends she had, most of the boys could play basketball. 'Most' meant this: three of the five guy friends she had could play it, the other two liked to watch.

_If he can't play…I hope he at least likes it. _She'd ask him later. Right now they were having an awkward moment and neither sixth grader knew what to say.

"Are you…hungry?"

Her stomach rumbled and they both laughed. "Yeah!"

He nodded at her. "My mom, she owns a café nearby. We could eat there if you want."

He had a really quiet voice, but it wasn't so low that she couldn't hear him. "Really?"

"Yeah, Karen's Café. Have you been there before? My grand—I knew the old owner."

She didn't catch his slip-up, caught up in the excitement of knowing someone with a parent that owned a business. "Yeah, me too. So your mom is the new owner! That is so cool!"

* * *

_I shouldn't have said all that. _Haley had launched into another rambling session. She had somehow ended up talking about school again.

"Haley." She kept talking. _Wow, déjà vu. _

"Mr. Kincaid isn't really that bad of a teacher, just a little odd I think. But he's the science teacher, so that's okay right?"

He didn't have Mr. Kincaid for his science teacher, but whatever. "Haley," he repeated as he stopped at a crosswalk. He was hungry, so the café seemed like a better and better idea as they got closer. _Where's that button at? _Maybe if he pressed it enough times the light would change sometime this year. _Oh, there it is._

"Mrs. White is really cool, don't you think? Maybe she's a little harder, but she's so nice. And yeah, I'm no huge English fan, but she makes it more bearable."

Maybe he should just indulge her a little. "Well, yeah, she seems cool to me." She'd been one of the only teachers not to give him a funny look when he walked in. Lucas couldn't help but notice how distant his companion's voice was. It was almost as if she'd left him there.

_But… _

"Haley?" He had turned around for like five seconds to push the button and she was gone!

"Haley?" Where'd she--

_Oh no… _"Haley!"

**BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP**

* * *

So you decide. Am I cruel enough to take away Lucas' first prospective friend? This fic **is **meant for shameless Lucas angst…heh heh. Review and find out!


	5. Always Look Both Ways

**I Don't Want To Be**

* * *

_Standard Disclaimers Apply._

* * *

Note: This is AU. _Deb_ Roe is Lucas' mom. Dan and _Karen_ are married with two children – Nathan _and Crystal_. There are other things, but I'll just let you read and find those out.

Oh, and I doubt that 'Marie' is really what's used as Haley's middle name, but that's what I'm using.

* * *

------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback

_Italics _… thoughts

**Bold **… emphasis

* * *

I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 5: Always Look Both Ways

* * *

_I hate the rain. _

A young Lucas Scott came to that conclusion as he stood there in the rain. It was wet. It was freezing. It was really dark outside. Why couldn't they have pushed…**this **back to a sunnier day? He was sure she liked sunny days. She seemed like someone who loved to bask in the sun on the beach or something. Lucas wished they could have played at the beach together. Or just sat around in the sun together.

**Anything**…as long as it had been together.

But he couldn't do that now. She was gone, dead, and she wasn't coming back. It wasn't fair! She had been so nice. She was supposed to be the exception, the one he would let in, the one who wouldn't hurt him.

_I suppose that's what I get then. _He had been stupid to think that he could get close to someone and not have something bad happen. It was usually moving, and this time he would have actually preferred it that way. He'd rather have lost her to moving than to…this.

What was 'this'? 'This' was getting hit by a car, a really big car – a black SUV to be specific. Lucas probably could have given you the make, model, and year, but now was not the time. Not now...

The driver? It was some guy, he hadn't paid any attention. All his blue eyes could take in was the limp form of his new friend sprawled out on the pavement. Lucas' eyes squeezed shut as he remembered the thoughts that had flowed through his mind. He remembered what little he had managed to get out as the ambulance pulled up and someone started to pull him away.

* * *

"_I-is she…?" _Disbelief.

She wasn't really dead…right? He had wanted to believe that so badly.

"_H-her arm a-and her legs…they, they aren't supposed to bend that way." _Shock.

This couldn't be right. He was just seeing things, that's all. Tears could blur your vision that way. O-or maybe that cafeteria food was doing something to him now. He had **needed **to believe that she was okay. He had been hoping that she would, somehow, be okay.

"_Why isn't she moving? **No**, let go! Why isn't she moving?" _Hysterics. He remembered a man trying to pull him away. He remembered a woman trying to calm him. They were both medics. At the time, he hadn't even thought to wonder who had called for an ambulance.

This wasn't happening. **This** wasn't happening. This **wasn't** happening. This wasn't **happening**. **This wasn't happening!**

"_Haley?" _Denial.

No, she couldn't be… She was just in sixth grade – they were just kids! Presently, Lucas supposed it didn't matter.

"_H-Hales…?" _Realization.

She was really dead wasn't she? He had felt like she had taken him with her.

"_**Haley**!" _Loss..

She was really dead… God how admitting to that had hurt.. He remembered sinking into the arms of the female medic, staring at Haley's still body with wide eyes. Then everything went black.

* * *

And then came the accusations. Emotions were running high and adults yelled a lot when they were angry. It had hurt, but Lucas knew they were right. He could have saved her. He could pushed her out of the way, even if he would have gotten hit himself. Or he could have dove in and gotten them both out of the way if he had tackled her hard enough.

He could have done something, **anything**, anything but stand there looking stupid. He **should **have done more than call out her name, distracting her, keeping her from diving out of the way in time.

It was his fault, clearly. He was the reason Haley was being buried right now. His cowardice had cost Haley her life. He was a murderer, just like her mom had screamed out.

He, Lucas Eugene Scott, had killed Haley Marie James. A numb sort of feeling settled over Lucas as his mom tried to guide him away from the gravesite. The devastated blond had stood there for what seemed like forever, even after the James clan had left.

_"Come on sweetie," _she had told him. _"You'll catch your d—" _She had paused then. _"You'll catch a cold baby." _

He didn't care if he caught some stupid cold. What was a cold compared to death? Haley's skin had been cold when he had touched it... Haley was dead. His first, and by his intentions, only friend in this stupid little town was dead.

And it was all his fault.

His mother was startled, no doubt, as he sank to his knees in front of Haley's grave, crying loudly. Lucas hadn't moved, spoken, or shed a single tear throughout the service, but now he was letting it all out. He cried out for her, as if it would bring her back. As if she would hear him and come back. As if it would make this all go away.

"**HALEY!**"

Surprisingly, it did all go away.

* * *

_What's wrong with you? _a voice screamed in his mind. _Save her!_

* * *

Haley had the distinct feeling that something wasn't right. That something happened to be the huge black SUV headed straight for her. Was someone screaming? Oh right, she was screaming. A voice was screaming for her to move, or was that a voice in her head? No wait, where was Lucas?

She whirled around, brown eyes wide. It really was a big SUV. Why wasn't she moving out of the way? The girl felt frozen as the car came rushing closer. Didn't they see her?

**_BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP_**

Guess not.

"**HALEY!**"

Haley felt a body crash into hers roughly, taking her down to the asphalt and concrete. It hurt, but at least she hadn't been hit by anything. Moments later, the little brunette felt a hand shake her cautiously. Haley wondered when she had screwed her eyes shut. Releasing the breath she had been holding since someone tackled her, Haley cracked one eye open.

A tall, dark-haired man was squatting next to her. She shifted back, or tried to anyway. _Oh! _The person that had tackled – no, **saved **– her was in the way! There was an arm around her waist, but it wasn't moving. Not even twitching in pain. Wait, she was **on **this person!

Wincing as she weakly scrambled off of the person, Haley's hand shot to her mouth.

"**Oh no - **!"

She crawled back over to Lucas as the man called for an ambulance. There wasn't much blood, except for the small bits leaking out of the cuts on his arm – the one that had scraped across the pavement, his legs – which had dragged across the asphalt, and his head – which had hit the concrete curb a little hard. Okay, so maybe the blood flowing from his forehead was a little much...

She reached out a hand, preparing to shake him, but stopped. What if that hurt him?

"Lucas?" she whispered.

* * *

The blond, predictably, didn't respond. He didn't respond when the paramedics came.

He didn't respond when they carefully put him on a stretcher, and then on a gurney.

He didn't respond when she told him that they, the medical staff, had called their parent(s).

He didn't respond when the doctor started to work on his injuries.

He **did**, however, respond when Haley started crying at his bedside after they patched him up. Face buried in her folded arms, Haley jumped as a hand brushed her head. Bleary, reddened brown eyes were overjoyed to see Luke's baby blues.

"Lucas!" She impulsively hugged him, but let go as if burned when he hissed in pain. She bit her lip as he breathed slowly, eyes closed. "Lucas?"

"H-Haley?"

She beamed at him, but that was before she noted his confused look. "What's wrong?" _Aside from you being in the hospital...?_

"What happened?"

* * *

"Lucas!"

Deb rushed into the room, sitting in the chair on the opposite side of the hospital bed. She'd never been so scared in all her life when she heard that her baby was in the hospital. Deb hoped she never got a phone call like that again. "Oh my poor baby, are you feeling okay now?" It sounded like such a stupid question, but it was all she could think of.

He gave her a weak little nod and she wasn't really buying it, but Deb smiled anyway. She had to keep his spirits up. Everyone looked up as the doctor came in. "Ms. Roe?"

Deb nodded, but didn't stand. The blonde woman just held her son's hand; Haley was holding the other one. "Yes?"

"I'm Doctor Jameson. Your son got away with some minor injuries; he's very lucky." He gave Lucas a kind smile. "And very brave."

Deb frowned in confusion. She hadn't waited on any details; having hung up as soon as she was told where he son was. "What do you mean?"

Dr. Jameson turned to her, frowning in equal confusion. "You weren't told? Your son saved young Miss James here from getting hit by a car."

Deb stared at Dr. Jameson for a while before shifting her gaze to Haley. "Is this…true?"

Haley bowed her head, unable to look at Deb. "Yes ma'am."

"I see…" Deb looked back up at the doctor. "What are these 'minor' injuries?"

Dr. Jameson flipped through some papers. "Well, he has some cuts and bruises –only three stitches were needed for the cut to the lower part of his right temple. The most serious injuries he has is a concussion from his landing and some bruised ribs."

Deb gasped. "And those are supposed to be **minor**!"

The doctor smile weakly at the upset mother. "Yes ma'am, they are. Considering the circumstances, it could have been much worse."

"Worse?"

"He could have gotten himself hit by the car." _And then he wouldn't had gotten by with anything at all._

* * *

After Haley's parents arrived and took her home – but not before profusely thanking Lucas and apologizing to her – Deb was left alone with Lucas. She wanted to yell at him for being reckless. She wanted to cry. She wanted to ask how he could do this to her. How could he be so careless?

But Deb couldn't bring herself to do it. Her baby looked so helpless and hurt in the too big bed and too big hospital gown. How could she yell at her little angel? Her little hero?

Gently running her fingers through his messy blond locks, Deb hummed a song to Lucas. He drifted off to sleep, soothed by the humming and his mother's gentle touch. As happy as Deb was with Lucas being okay, she couldn't help but think about their ever-present financial problem.

_How am I going to pay for this? _

* * *

See? Haley's still okay. I'm not **that **mean. Not right now anyway...heh. Who's paying for the bill? Where was Keith? When is Dan and his clan coming in? Meh, I'll tell you later. See you next chapter and review please!


	6. New Best Friend

**I Don't Want To Be**

* * *

_Standard Disclaimers Apply._

* * *

Note: This is AU. _Deb_ Roe is Lucas' mom. Dan and _Karen_ are married with two children – Nathan _and Crystal_. There are other things, but I'll just let you read and find those out.

* * *

------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback 

_Italics _… thoughts

**Bold **… emphasis

* * *

I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 6: New Best Friend

* * *

Deb shut the door to her home, leaning against it with a sigh.

Reporters.

She didn't even know that Tree Hill had any, much less so many. For about a week now, they'd been hounding the James' and her son. It had died down to a trickle and she expected that this whole 'Hero' thing would die out completely by Saturday. Running a hand through her blonde locks, Deb made her way to the living room.

"Done?"

"Yeah, there were only three and by now, I can come up with some very short, very vague answers." At least Keith had been here.

"They ever find out who the driver was?"

"No, no one seems to be talking in that department." She shrugged. "At least he footed the hospital bill…." Deb trailed off.

"…and the medication," Keith finished. _Why does she have that look on her face? _

Deb wasn't really comfortable with the pills her son had to take. But it **was **for the pain, and she didn't want her baby in pain. _It's not crack you know, _a voice in her head drawled._ Lucas is twelve for goodness' sake! He won't get addicted to his painkillers! He's not like **you** at all in that respect. _The blonde woman crouched by the couch. "My poor baby, he's all worn out. Maybe he shouldn't go to school tomorrow…"

Keith rolled his eyes. Lucas was about two days away from going crazy under his mother's attention. Of course, the boy didn't say a word about it, just watched his mother scramble between the café and home to keep him company. _"I don't know why she stays," _he remembered the boy saying, _"All I really do is sleep. What's so fascinating about that?" _

And really, that **was **all Lucas did. His days since being taken home did not include any sort of activity beyond reading, eating, sleeping, bathing, and using the bathroom. Somewhere in there, he did the homework that was brought to him by Haley. The petite brunette had been impossible to detach from Lucas' side since he'd been released from the hospital. In fact, she was still due to come over and do homework with Lucas today.

Of course, Haley wouldn't be able to do much if Lucas continued to sleep on the couch the way he was. Book covering his stomach, Lucas was sleeping peacefully, completely unaware of his mother and uncle's presences. He had fallen asleep a few minutes before the reporters had popped in.

"I'll just take him to his room. I'm sure he'll be up by the time Haley gets here; he usually is anyway."

Deb nodded, not entirely comfortable with how much time Haley spent with Lucas.

Keith said nothing about the wariness on Deb's face. Any idiot could see how attached Lucas was getting to Haley. Keith was all for it, as the slightly younger girl was doing a great job of pulling Lucas out of his withdrawn state.

Deb, however, wasn't exactly thrilled. She'd prefer it if he had guy friends. Keith didn't really get it, friends were friends and he welcomed anyone willing to take up the painstaking task of easing Lucas out of his shell. The Scott man said nothing about though, knowing he wouldn't get very far. He just accepted it and tried to comfort her as best he could.

Deb liked Haley, really she did. But she was just so used to being the only woman in her son's life, the one he clung to desperately. With Haley around…she had to share Lucas' undivided attention and love. How did she survive with so few boyfriends?

Her son.

His unwavering love sustained her. Knowing that no matter what she did and no matter what she said, he would still love her. Lucas' love was the love of a child that truly loved their parent(s) - unconditional. The knowledge that no matter how many men walked out of her life, Lucas would never leave her...**that **was what got her through all the heartbreak. Well that and Keith offering to beat the crap out of them all. That was always a great way to cheer her up.

* * *

Lucas mumbled something, but didn't wake up as Keith lifted him and carried the lanky boy to his room.

Deb followed, smiling tenderly as Keith tucked her son in and placed his precious book on the nightstand next to him. The blonde woman eyed the door. When they had first moved here, Deb was wary of her son having his own personal exit. But Lucas was a good boy, and far too solemn a child to do anything that other, less responsible children wouldn't hesitate to do.

She hated to think it, but her son's socially-wary personality worked to her advantage, parentally-speaking. Where would he sneak off to? There was no where for him to go really. He wasn't attached to any particular place unless you counted the café.

Who would he sneak off with? No one. Haley was his only friend and she wasn't exactly the type to try anything. Besides that, Haley – despite Deb's reservations– was a good girl. Her parents were a little…eccentric though. They were good people, just…odd.

* * *

Lucas was reading a book when he heard a knock at his door. He didn't think too much of there being a door directly to room, but Haley thought it was really cool. The blond boy said nothing as the door opened and closed, but did look up as his bed shifted under new weight.

"What'cha reading?" Haley couldn't see the cover due to the way Lucas was holding the worn book. The HUGE, worn book.

Lucas closed the thick book, hand covering the title, and its sound seemed to echo. _Or maybe that's just me, _Haley thought to herself. "War and Peace," the blond replied easily.

There was a silence as Haley tried to determine if the boy in front of her was as serious as his solemn tone indicated. They were in sixth grade; he couldn't possibly be reading such a hard book. _But he's **really **good at English…and seems to breeze through it so easily. And he does like to read a lot. A **whole lot**. _"Um...oh. Okay."

The corners of his mouth shifted upwards slightly for a small smile that told her he was only playing.

"Hey!" she said indignantly.

Lucas shook his head at the pouting brunette, amused. Haley always seemed to believe what he told her if he had a straight enough face. "So what do you have there?"

She seemed to space out on him for a few seconds before saying, "Oh!" She placed the work down. "Homework!"

Haley giggled at Lucas' non-plussed look, an expression that he just seemed to have down perfectly. "Oh come on, it's not that bad." She sifted through the work. "It's just some English and math…" She trailed off before adding, "..And a little science, history, and health." The blonde boy groaned and she beamed at him as if she hadn't heard it. "See? Not so bad!"

"Yeah, yeah…" And so the two set to doing their homework. You know, in between talking, complaining about particularly hard problems, and such. Actually, Haley did most of the talking, but what's so surprising about that?

* * *

"So…you ready?"

Lucas threw his best friend a sideways glance. "We're halfway there," he said in his customarily quiet voice, "and you decide to ask me that **now**?"

After much begging from Lucas and a lot more persuading from Keith, Deb had finally agreed to let Lucas go back to school.

_"But it's just a trial run! If you feel any pain or get tired quickly or something like that, you just go to the nurse okay? Then have her call either Keith or myself and one of us will come and get you. Nothing is more important than you recovering properly so don't hesitate to call if you have to okay baby?" _

After assuring her – seven or eight times he believed – that he would have the nurse call one of them at the slightest sensation of pain, his mother had let him go. The boy had resisted the urge to run out of the door. Not that he would have gone far; Haley had been waiting at the end of his driveway.

And so here they were, Haley and Lucas, walking to school. "Well…yeah, now I'm asking."

"You could have asked earlier."

"I **know**…I just, um…"

"You forgot?"

Haley looked mortified, though he had no idea why. "**No!**"

"Um, okay…you didn't forget then. ... So why didn't you ask me before?"

"You asked me a question first."

"And what was that?"

"You asked me if I was ready to go." A technicality, but she was using it.

"Are you serious? That shouldn't even count."

There wasn't even really a point to them having this mini-argument. Neither really cared, it was just something to take up time. And besides that, Haley had made a sort of sport out of seeing how much she could get Lucas to say in one day. The two stood before school grounds, staring at nothing in particular. Well, Haley stopped. Lucas had kept walking.

He turned around. "Come on." What was she waiting for?

Haley walked to his side. The two headed for the entrance. As they reached Lucas' locker, she spoke. "So…**are **you ready?"

Lucas sighed. Haley never was one to have a question go unanswered.

"Yeah Hales, I am." _As ready as I'll ever be in this place._

* * *

And there's another chapter for ya! I could make my excuses for the long wait, but I won't. I couldn't figure out what to write – plain and simple. So many new ideas keep popping into my head, but I really want to do one major fic at a time. My friend, a writer you may know as Anime-05 (that '-' should be an underscore, but the document manager won't allow it) here said that the reason she had to just stop writing was because she kept starting so many new projects. Instead of finishing out one or two at a time, she'd start up the new idea immediately, get out two or three chapters, and then think of something new. It wrecked everything for her. So forgive me, I'm just trying to stay on track.

So there you have it. Read, review, and I'll do my best to stay focused and get another chapter out to you in more reasonable timing.


	7. One Friend Equals More Friends

**I Don't Want To Be**

* * *

_Standard Disclaimers Apply._

_

* * *

_

------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback

_Italics _… thoughts

**Bold **… emphasis

* * *

I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 7: One Friend Equals More Friends

* * *

"I don't think this is a very good idea Haley."

Lucas was struck with that 'I'm being ignored' feeling as the petite brunette just dragged him along anyway. School had been torturous for Lucas. All the kids kept asking questions and trying to poke at the remaining bandages. Lucas, who shied away from such attention, didn't take it too well.

He had almost gotten in trouble for upsetting some kid that just **refused **to take the hint and leave him alone. One frosty glare from his intense blue eyes sent the boy scrambling over to his desk. Lucas almost felt guilty, but was too irritable to really feel it. The only reason he didn't get in trouble was because the teacher had been Mrs. White, the only teacher that seemed to not be offended by his presence.

When school had ended, Lucas had rejoiced, more than ready to just go home and sleep. He was tired and his arm had started to ache in English, but not so much that he felt the need to go to the nurse. It wasn't so bad and there was no need to have his mother and Keith freak out over nothing. He'd get over it soon enough, right? Right.

But back to his plans of going home and sleeping. Or rather, the change in those plans.

It seemed that Haley had no intention of letting him just go home. No, she insisted that he meet her other friends. Lucas didn't know **why** it was so important for him to meet them. He had made his exception to the 'no attachments' rule – and that was Haley.

**Only **Haley.

He didn't want two, three, maybe four more new friends. That was too risky. When they – being he and his mother – moved, he'd be crushed. It would be only slightly bearable with **just** Haley to be hung up over. But more? That was like multiplying the pain. And believe it or not, Lucas Scott was no glutton for punishment. Or he didn't think so anyway…

But how could he explain that to Haley? She had believed Keith when he assured her that Lucas wouldn't be moving away from Tree Hill anytime soon. Trying to convince her of seeing things his way was just a waste of time. Not that that helped him with his current situation.

"Seriously Haley, I just wanna go home."

"And you can," she said, "**after **you meet my friends."

Lucas sighed. "Come on, can't we do this on some other day?" _You know, one day, maybe months from now when I'll probably be gone? _

She paused and for all of five seconds Lucas believed that Haley would give in. "Well yeah...but today is best." Silly Lucas, of course she wasn't going to cave.

* * *

Haley wondered why Lucas was so resistant to the idea of meeting her friends. He had grown very silent after her last refusal to let him go home. _Of course, he could always **force **me to let go. _Theoretically, Lucas was probably stronger than her. _Not that he'd do anything. _Lucas just didn't strike her as the type to do something like that.

But back to the question at hand – why was Lucas resisting this so much?

Sure, he was shy. And yeah, he didn't seem to like being around a lot of people at one time. And he was more anti-social than she was. And he wasn't much of a talker. And Lucas had never mentioned having a friend besides her…

"Oh I get it!" She stopped, forcing Lucas to halt as well. The hopeful look in his eyes disappeared after Haley made this statement:

"You're nervous!"

Ignoring his sigh, she continued on. "It'll be fine Lucas. I know you don't like to be around people very much, especially strangers, but they're really nice – I promise!"

* * *

Lucas looked around the basketball court. He had passed by this place many times and often sat by the river. He would come and shoot some hoops by himself too. It was just something he did occasionally during his walks. "They're not here," he stated plainly to the annoyed brunette in front of him.

"They'll be here – they just have no sense of time."

Lucas prayed that Haley wouldn't have the patience to wait it out. He sat down on a picnic table and Haley paced around, occasionally looking over to make sure that he didn't try and make a run for it. That was a good thing, since he really was thinking about it. The tiny brunette wouldn't be able to keep up with him.

But…she had looked so pathetically hopeful on the way over here. The girl only wanted to introduce him to her other friends. She just didn't want him to be so alone. It was understandable. As his friend, she wanted him to have more than just her to talk to. It was sweet of her, really, and he didn't want to upset his only friend. So here he was, waiting with her.

* * *

"Hey Haley!"

Lucas blinked as two girls came running up. _More girls, just what I needed. _The blond boy had always thought it weird that, no matter where he went, his first friend was always a girl. And more often than not, the majority of his friends were female. At this point in his life, any male friends he had would make fun of him for it. That is…if he had any. Children – tch.

Lucas' eyes widened as he got a good look at the girls. It wasn't that they were pretty –well they were, but that wasn't why he was staring. They were the two girls that had been harassing him since his first day at school! They hadn't been so bad since the accident though. All they did today was tell him that they hoped he would feel completely better soon.

Now let's clear something up. When Lucas says/thinks/whatever 'they', he's really just talking about the energetic Latina chatting it up with Haley right now. The blonde that had strolled up behind the bouncy brunette had yet to say anything.

_Actually, now that I think about it…she hasn't spoken…ever – not even today. _In class, it was the brunette that wouldn't leave him alone. Today, the brunette had done the talking as well. The blonde had only smiled and nodded in agreement. He just bunched the pair together since he had yet to see them apart.

"Lucas, are you even listening?"

Luke blinked, before looking up at the two irritated brunettes. The blonde was just looking on in amusement.

"Ummm…."

Haley sighed at him. "Like I was **trying **to tell you – Lucas this is Mia Montego. Mia, this is Lucas!"

"Hi!" she greeted.

"Um, hi…"

Haley motioned for the blonde, who was taller than both brunettes, to come forward. Apparently, the girl was moving too slow because Haley linked their arms and hurriedly pulled her forward. Unbothered, the girl simply stood there. Her green eyes drifted over to Haley, as if asking what she was supposed to do now.

Another sigh came forth. "Luke," something Haley had taken to calling him, "this is Emily."

The blonde said nothing at first, but several pokes from Sofia prompted a quiet, unsure "Hello."

Good, at least **someone **was as wary of this situation as he was. "Hi."

* * *

"Where is everybody?" asked Mia. She had just made herself comfortable sitting by Lucas. Lucas' response was to edge away ever so slightly, hoping she wouldn't notice. She did, but it didn't upset her. All the girl did was grin at him before turning to Haley.

"Late as usual."

"They're **always **late. Did they miss the lessons on telling time in like – what? – kindergarten?"

You didn't really learn that in kindergarten, but Lucas didn't care to point that out.

"I guess not. Where do you think they are Emma?"

The blonde had settled on the bench on the opposite side of the picnic table he was sitting on, directly behind Mia. Emily shrugged, and went back to reading. This made Lucas curious. What was she reading? And more importantly, where had that book come from? _I didn't see her carrying that. _Go figure.

* * *

Mia sighed. "I'm bored Emma; entertain me."

_Could've sworn her name was Emily_, Lucas thought. _Nickname?_

The blonde gave her friend a blank look before pointing towards the road.

"Your entertainment has arrived!" a boy declared loudly.

Lucas looked up from trying to get a glimpse of the title of Emily's book. Four guys were approaching. The one that had spoken was a sort of chubby, but not fat, boy with a big grin on his face.

"You're all late," Haley informed them.

"Not my fault!" a particularly scrawny-looking boy defended. He pointed at a bald African-American boy. "He took **forever **because he didn't take out the trash when his mom had told him to; then we had to wait while his mom fussed at him for, like, an hour and—"

The boy with the shaved head held up a hand. "Dang Mouth, they didn't need to know all that. All you had to say was 'We got held up'."

"Were."

The boys turned to Haley. "What?"

"Were. 'We **were **held up.'"

They all groaned. "You're going to be an English teacher when you grow up, aren't you?"

Haley shrugged before plopping down on the other side of Lucas. "I don't know."

Lucas watched the entire exchange, and thought it very funny. The ghost of a smile on his lips said as much. Haley was delighted. "See? I told you it'd be fine!"

This drew attention to the 'mysterious' boy seated by Haley. "Who's this?" an afro-sporting boy asked.

"Oh! This is my friend Lucas; the one that saved me from that huge truck!"

A faint shade of red spread across Lucas' cheeks as they crowded around him.

"For real dawg?"

"Yeah, check out the patchwork."

"Those are bandages…"

"Same thing man."

"Um…"

"That is so cool!"

"I remember hearing about it on the news, but the dude's mom was giving static."

"Do you even know what that means?"

"I don't…"

"Guys…"

"It just means they wouldn't talk to the reporters."

"That's okay, reporters are so **nosy**.."

"**Hey!**"

A period of silence followed Lucas' outburst. He didn't say anything after it and nobody knew what to do. Haley stepped up to breaking the silence. "Give the poor guy some space, people have been crowding around him all day."

Mia chimed in as well. "Yeah, give the guy some breathing room."

The boys backed up as Haley and Mia went about pushing them a little.

"My bad dawg."

Lucas shrugged a little, ignoring how that hurt his arm a little. "S'okay."

* * *

Another silence went on before the boy the afro spoke up. "Oookay…right. So how about a game guys?" He had a basketball in his hands. The other two boys grinned, all for it.

Mouth, however, was a little less enthusiastic. "Come on guys…not again."

"What?"

"You know I'm terrible at this game, Fergie. I can barely move when it's over while you guys are still going - ready to play **all day**!" He pointed an accusing finger at the African-American boy with a small afro.

Fergie scoffed. "Oh don't be such a baby, Mouth. We'll just play one game."

"Yeah, we can't play with three people."

Haley stepped in, deciding help Mouth out a little. "Come on Junk…"

The slightly-chubby boy turned to her. "What? Just one game – it won't kill him."

Haley had to think quickly; otherwise, Mouth would have to play against his wishes. The proverbial light bulb appeared above Haley's head, fully lit - figuratively of course. _I've got it! _The brunette turned to a very unsuspecting blond boy on the bench. Her friend seemed more interested in peeking at whatever book Emily was reading this week. "Oh Luuuu-cas…" she said in a sweet, sing-song voice.

* * *

Lucas almost winced at the sound of Haley calling him. He knew that tone. It was that I-need-you-to-do-something-you-might-not-like kind of tone. But he would do it because Haley was his friend, his only friend, and he wanted her happy because that was his nature. It was like being taken advantage of, but Lucas didn't understand that concept yet so…yeah. He sighed. "Yes Haley?"

"Do you like basketball?" she asked innocently.

"Watching?"

"No, I mean yeah, but no."

"What?" Lucas frowned at the girl. She could be so confusing sometimes.

"Do you like **playing **basketball?"

"Sort of," he said cautiously. "Why?"

"Do you want to play?" Mouth asked suddenly. He had caught on to what Haley was up to and hoped that their newest buddy would go along with it.

Lucas gave them both suspicious looks. "Not really, I'm not that good at it."

Haley and Mouth both shot him pleading looks at the reply. "**Please**? I'll do your homework for a **week**, I swear, just please take my spot!"

"Yeah Luke, you may not play well, but Mouth can't play at all."

"Haley!" Mouth looked semi-offended.

"What? Do you want him to take your spot or not?"

Mouth gave a resigned sigh. "Yeah…you're right. But you didn't have to say it like that."

"Maybe not…but she's got a point dawg. You suck at this game."

"You too Skillz?" he said to the bald brown-skinned boy. The boy in question just shrugged.

"Are you sure?" Lucas asked. _I don't think this is a good idea..._

"**Yes!**" came Mouth's oh-so-eager reply.

Lucas sighed. Everyone was looking at him now. "I…oh, alright. I'll play."

"Yes! Yes! Oh thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" Mouth did a little 'All Hail' type deal – Mouth on his knees, bowing at Lucas' feet – and Lucas shifted, not sure what to do.

"Um…you can stop now…"

"Okay!" Mouth hopped up, dusting himself off.

Just as Lucas was walking towards the other boys, who were doing rock-paper-scissors for teams, Emily spoke up. "Are you sure you can play?" Everyone turned to look. Lucas just gave her a curious look.

"Dang Em', that's cold."

The blonde shook her head. That's not what she had meant. "Your arm," she clarified. "Are you sure you can play with your arm still hurting?"

A collective 'Ohhh…' went around. Haley suddenly looked worried. "Yeah, maybe you should wait a while."

Mouth looked crestfallen, but started to get back up.

"I'll be fine," Lucas told them. _I think._

Haley wasn't so sure, but let him go on. Mouth was quick to sit back down though.

* * *

"Okay, so me and Fergie –"

"—Fergie and I!" Haley broke in.

"How did she even **hear **that?"

Junk sighed. "**Fergie and I** will be on a team, and Lucas, you'll be on Skillz's team. Got that?"

Lucas nodded. "Yeah."

"Good. First team to…uh…thirty wins. Three's are from there," he pointed to one line. "Foul line's there," he pointed somewhere else. "Grass is out, blah blah blah, you know the deal."

All the boys nodded. "Okay, everybody ready?" More nods.

"Okay let's play!"

* * *

And there we are...another chapter. The next chapter or so will go to establishing a few more characters, or at least letting you know that they're there, and then I'll fast forward a little bit! Sorry for the wait, but I hope you'll still review! Questions, comments, constructive criticism – I welcome it all!


	8. Friends and Foes

**I Don't Want To Be**

* * *

_Standard Disclaimers Apply._

* * *

Note: I've changed Lynette's name to Emily (Emma for a nickname). Why? Because I decided that I don't like that name for her – no offense to anyone named Lynette or Lynn or any other derivative of the name Lynette. And yes, I've gone to the previous chapter to change it as well.

* * *

------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback

_Italics _… thoughts

**Bold **… emphasis

* * *

I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 8: Friends and Foes

* * *

"Lucas!"

Upon hearing his name, the blond boy paused in his trek to his locker. A neat side-step kept him from being knocked over by the brown-haired whirlwind that was Haley James. The boy neatly arched an eyebrow at his grinning friend.

_What is she so happy about? _His calm was turning into wariness. Bad things tended to happen, to him specifically, when Haley James was overly happy and/or excited.

Haley paid no mind to her wary friend, counting that as part of his nature. And besides that, she was in sixth grade. What would she know about wariness and stuff anyway? "I told you so!"

Lucas allowed himself to be dragged along as the twosome headed to lunch. "What are you talking about Haley?"

"Yesterday! Don't pretend like you forgot!" She shot him a scandalized look, as if he had done something horribly inappropriate.

"Yesterday," he repeated. "Yesterday people kept bugging me about the car accident, I made some kid cry, all my classes **sucked**, some kid named Nathan decided it would be fun to pick on some other kids and got mad when I stepped in, and **you **dragged me to some court by the river—"

"Rivercourt," Haley interjected.

"Fine, you dragged me to the **Rivercourt** and introduced me to a very loud Spanish girl, a really quiet blonde girl—"

"Like you're one to talk!"

"Can I finish please?"

"Yeah, go on."

"Like I was saying, you introduced me to a loud Spanish girl, a quiet blonde, a skinny kid that doesn't like to play basketball, and three other guys that do. I went home tired with a lot of homework to do."

"They have names, you know. I introduced you to Mia, Emily, Mouth, Skillz, Fergie, and Junk. And you **loved** it, just like I said you would." They plopped down at their usual table – just the two of them. Both brought their own lunches.

"You never said that," Lucas quipped while pulling out an orange.

"Um yeah, I did. I told you that it wouldn't be bad, and it wasn't. Which is why I get to say 'I told you so'." Haley gave the apple in her bag a sour look before pulling it out.

"Saying that I'd love it is not the same as telling me that it won't be all that bad. There's a difference. So no, you don't get to say 'I told you so'."

The girl pouted. _Aww..I've been **dying **to use that line. Ugh, I hate it when he's right. _

Without even discussing it, the two sixth graders traded fruit. "I don't even know why she puts apples in here. I hate them." She shoved Lucas a little as he smirked a little at the comment.

* * *

"Lucas?"

The boy was staring at something. Haley looked up…and groaned. "Great," she mumbled.

"Who are they?"

Haley frowned before an 'oh' expression settled on her face. Lucas was new here and hadn't spoken to very many people. Of course he wouldn't know. "The popular crowd: Brooke Davis, Peyton Sawyer, Nathan Scott and a few others. They're really mean to everybody, always acting as if they're better than everyone else."

"I know that Nathan kid."

"You do?"

"He and some other guys were picking on these two kids and I told him to lay off. One of his friends told me to shut up and pushed me. I pushed him back. Then Nathan pushed me – or he tried to anyway. I had moved. He missed and fell on his face. He turned all red and stomped off." He shrugged at the end, a response to Haley's open-mouth expression.

"Are you crazy!? He's like…like…"

"Like what?" Lucas queried.

"Like **bad**."

"Is that the best you could come up with? He's 'bad'?"

Haley punched him in the arm and Lucas groaned, pulling away from his friend. "**Ow – Haley!**"

The girl looked mortified. "**Oh no**! Oh Lucas I'm so sorry, I completely forgot. Please don't be mad…"

Lucas grimaced at the spike of pain in his arm, but tried to reassure Haley that he wasn't really mad and he didn't need to go to the hospital.

* * *

"Well isn't this touching?"

Lucas and Haley looked up to see Nathan, a pretty brunette girl, a rather tall blonde girl that was also pretty, and a few others. Nathan was scowling at Lucas, obviously having not forgotten what happened yesterday.

Haley absently grabbed onto the edge of Lucas' shirt, not comfortable with the situation. This was really bad. Nathan looked awfully mad…

Lucas failed to see the big deal. He hadn't done anything wrong as far as he knew. And he didn't even know the rest of these people. He frowned at them in confusion. What did they want? "May we help you or something?" he asked. This caused a round of snickers, but Lucas had no idea what was so funny about his question. "Well?" he added.

"Yeah, you can mind your own beeswax from now on," Nathan said. _I don't know who this kid thinks he is, but he better watch out._

"Excuse me?" Lucas arched an eyebrow. **_What_** _is this guy's problem?_

"You heard me. I don't know what this 'superhero' act of yours was supposed to do, but just keep it to yourself or you won't get away so easy next time."

In the back of his mind, Lucas was aware that this was a threat of sorts. But this was sixth grade – what the heck was Nathan going to do to him? They had a grand total of two classes together – English and gym. Okay, so the teachers may not like him so much for whatever reason – except his English teacher – but they weren't going to sit back and let Nathan start a fight right there in class. _I hope._

And sure, Nathan, apparently, knew where he sat at lunch. So? Would he steal his lunch or something then? Luke could have cared less. _I've gone without lunch plenty of times_, Lucas thought to himself.He could just grab something from his mom's café, no problem.

It seemed that Lucas' lack of reaction was grating Nathan's nerves. The dark-haired boy's frown deepened and he moved until his shadow was cast right over Lucas. The blond frowned back.

Luke may be quiet and he may keep to himself for the most part, but the boy was no pushover. He wasn't backing down. What Nathan and his friends had been doing was wrong and mean. Lucas wouldn't sit around and watch them bully people right in front of his face while he could do something about it.

Haley noted the hush that had fallen upon the crowd around them. She looked over to see that Nathan and Lucas were still locked in a staring contest. Neither boy blinked, nor did they stop frowning. She fidgeted, as did Nathan's clique. They were only in sixth grade; this sort of intensity wasn't the norm.

"Ummm…Lucas?" This was making her uncomfortable, but it seemed that her new best buddy was just fine glaring the other boy down. She'd never seen Lucas come so close to hostility. Granted, her friends had been nice to him and Haley wasn't around to see him glare at that one kid he made cry the other day… _This **has **to stop._

"Luke!" Haley had both their lunches in hand.

"Yes?"

The petite brunette wasn't sure if she should be annoyed or impressed by the fact that he could answer her without breaking the mini-show down. "We have to go." She started tugging the sleeve of his "good" arm.

The blond didn't budge for a minute or two. When he did get up, Lucas maintained his eye lock with Nathan. At this point, Lucas was shorter than Nathan, but only by an inch or two. However, as a sixth grader, this seemed to be like a foot to both boys. It allowed Nathan to tilt his head a little and look **down **at Lucas.

**RIIIIIING!!**

The bell for their next class had rung, but neither boy seemed to notice. Nathan blinked as his friend Tim, or "Dim" as he was often called, tugged on his sleeve. He was trying to stay focused on the irritating boy before him, but the incessant pulling and calling of his name was too distracting. He looked away.

"**What**?"

Tim took a step back at the tone. "Umm…dude, we'll be late for class."

Nathan huffed. "Is that all?"

The other boy nodded.

"Tch, whatever. I'm not done with – " His sentence was cut off when he turned around. Lucas wasn't there.

Nathan glared at the spot Lucas had been standing in, thoroughly ticked off. _This is **not **over_, he decided mentally.

* * *

"Haley."

The brunette ignored him, continuing to drag him down the hall. She had successfully managed to force him out of the lunchroom when Tim had distracted Nathan for those scant minutes.

"Haley, stop!"

She halted, turning around to face him. Haley was not happy and it showed. "What is **wrong **with you?"

Lucas tugged his hand out of her grasp, confused and edging toward the defensive. "What are you talking about?"

"That, that, whatever it was with Nathan! Are you crazy!? He's, he's **bad**. He's bad news and getting involved with him isn't going to help anyone."

Lucas huffed. "So I should just let him pick on whoever he pleases without doing anything about it? Without even trying? Is that what you want?"

Haley opened her mouth and closed. Frowning back, she said, "**Yes**. You'll only make it worse. He'll be all over you now; you should have just let him go. Now him and his buddies will be picking on you and, and – "

Lucas snorted. "I don't think it's me you're worried about." With that, the blond walked away. He never did get to go to his locker. _I'll be late now. Great._

* * *

There you have it. Another chapter. Short, but that's how I do it. I've had other plot bunnies hopping around in my head, and have started to type them just to get them out of my head. But don't worry; I won't officially start up any other stories until much, **much **later.


	9. Small Blessings

**I Don't Want To Be**

_

* * *

_

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

* * *

Note: Heh…I've had another change of heart. Sofia's name is now Mia, and I have gone back to edit the previous two chapters to reflect that change. I promise not to change their names anymore. It's just a good thing that these are relatively new characters, which makes for an easy name change, but…yeah. I'm done.

* * *

------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback

_Italics _… thoughts

**Bold **… emphasis

* * *

I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 9: Small Blessings

* * *

"Lucas!"

"Luke! Hey Luke, over here!"

Lucas stopped his walking, saving the page he had been reading. He was quite skilled at walking and reading without running into anyone or anything at this point. The blonde boy turned his head and noted that he was passing the Rivercourt. Skillz and the guys from the other day were waving him over. Slowly, he complied.

* * *

"Would you quit pacing please??" An exasperated blonde shouted to her sister.

A smaller brunette, the addressee, stopped her pacing, frowning at her big sister. Or one of them anyway. "I can't help it! How can you **not **see how huge this is?"

The elder girl rolled her eyes. "So you had a little argument, no big deal." That wasn't what her little sister had wanted to hear though.

"No big deal?" The younger of the two looked positively scandalized. "No big deal???" She huffed. "It is a **huge **deal, okay? He didn't speak to me for the rest of the day – "

" – you don't have **all **your classes together you know."

"Not the point! I didn't see him after school or at the café. We **always **walk to the café and Deb gives us a little snack. Then Lucas walks me home and then he goes home. That's…that's our thing! He broke…the thing, which means he must be really mad and – "

"**Haley**!"

The tiny brunette halted her mile-a-minute rambling. "What?"

"Would you relax? Just because he broke your 'thing', which is a routine by the way, doesn't mean he's mad or doesn't want to be friends anymore. Just talk to him tomorrow or something and I'm sure it will all be fine!" _Jeez, sixth grade and already with the drama!_

Haley sighed. "If you say so Taylor…"

"I do say so. Now go do your homework or something."

"I finished my homework."

…_Such a nerd, too late to save her now. _"Hence the 'or something'."

Haley opened her mouth and then closed it, frowning at the loophole of a word. "Fine then, I will." The petite girl went upstairs.

Taylor rolled her eyes as she turned the TV back up. "Kids."

* * *

"How you holding up?"

Deb looked up and smiled. "Hey Keith; I'm doing great." The look on his face made her wary. "Why? What's wrong?" Immediately, her mind fed her a list of things that could have gone wrong. _Lucas! _Before Keith could say anything, Deb's mouth was up and running. "Is it Lucas? Oh God, it **is** Lucas isn't it? Something's happened. Is it his arm? His shoulder? Does he feel sick? Is he sick?"

Keith reached out and grabbed the panicking woman by the shoulders. "Deb!" The blonde went quiet, eyes wide and questioning. "Nothing is wrong with Lucas." _As far as I know_, he added mentally. "He's fine. I was asking about **you**."

"Me?"

"Yes Deb, you. How are **you**?" He knew that Lucas pretty much summed up Deb's life, in her mind anyway. Her devotion to her son was something he admired and worried about at the same time.

It was good for her to love Lucas so much. It was good that she was doing her best as a single parent. It wasn't good if Lucas and anything concerning him consumed her thoughts to the point that she didn't take good care of herself.

Deb smiled at the man's obvious concern. If he only knew… _No, you were supposed to have kicked the habit. You told him - you **promised **him! – that you were done. Are you done Deb? _a malicious voice in her mind queried.

Keith wondered about the look that crossed Deb's lovely face. "Deb?" She looked up at him, smiling away. He wasn't sure whether to buy it or not. "You okay?"

"Is that the only thing you came to ask me?"

The question, or the way it was phrased, threw him a bit. Keith scratched his head, not knowing what kind of reply she was looking for.

Deb mentally snickered at the man's confusion. He was so cute when he was confused… _Ah-ah-ah…let's not go there. _She sighed. "I'm fine Keith." She threw a rag at him, glad that he hadn't called her bluff.

Keith caught the rag. He held it away from him, pinching a corner with minimum contact. His face held expression of mock-disdain. "Eww…"

"Says the guy who works in a car garage all day, every day." Deb laughed at him. "I'm fine," she reiterated, "but I'll be even better when this counter gets cleaned." She batted her eyelashes at him for extra effect. "You wouldn't happen to be wanting to do that now would you?"

"Well…" He really didn't want to clean the counter.

"You hungry?"

Keith's eyes fixed onto the loaded BLT in front of him. Well, first it snapped to something else and then the sandwich, but we shan't go there. "Bribery?" he asked with a sigh.

Deb smiled, still holding the plate away from him. "Bribery."

* * *

"Are you **sure **you hurt your arm?"

Lucas looked over at Junk. It was a weird angle to look at him from, considering the fact that Lucas was laying on the court along with Skillz and Fergie.

"Yeah dawg, you sure?" Skillz asked.

Lucas made a face. "What are you talking about? You all saw my sling and stuff; of course I hurt it."

"Tch, you don't play like you hurt it."

Lucas shook his head, smiling slightly. "Ow! Mouth!"

The skinny boy gave Lucas an apologetic look. "Just checking…"

Lucas wrinkled his brow. "Yeah, well, find another way to check or something." The blond rubbed his sore arm. It wasn't his whole arm that hurt. It was mostly the upper part of his arm and his shoulder. Those were what ached and made him wince with their soreness.

"So now what?"

"What do you mean 'now what'?"

"You guys just played three whole games. Aren't you going to do something else now?"

The four boys in question looked at Mouth like he was crazy. "Three games? Man, those weren't three games. The winning score had to be 10 every time."

Mouth frowned at Fergie. "So how many games is that then?"

The boy thought for a moment. "One."

"Just one?!"

"Yeah, just one."

There was a silence after that as the boys sat there. Actually, Mouth and Junk sat there. Skillz, Fergie, and Lucas all continued to lie on there ground. As he laid there on the asphalt, Lucas felt a calm settle over him.

Basketball had always been therapeutic to him. And with his life, he needed all the free therapy he could get. There was just something about running up and down black asphalt and watching a dark orange sphere sink smoothly through a cylinder net…something peaceful. Something reassuring.

It felt good. Basketball felt good and Lucas was glad he could play it. When everything was confusing and left him feeling lost; when everyone seemed to have lost their minds; when nothing else made sense…there was basketball. He didn't know what he would have done without it. Lucas hoped that he wouldn't have to find out anytime soon.

It made the boy smile to himself. So the blue-eyed boy closed his eyes and thanked God for small blessings.

* * *

So there's that. A teeny-weeny filler chapter. Nothing huge, just setting things up. And it's shortness prompted me to load two chapters at once. I think my inspiration has returned during this break!


	10. Good Idea?

**I Don't Want To Be**

* * *

_Standard Disclaimers Apply._

------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback

_Italics _… thoughts

**Bold **… emphasis

* * *

I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 10: Good Idea?

* * *

"Mom, can I ask you something?"

Deb looked over from where she was gathering ingredients to cook lasagna, Lucas' favorite. Things with the café were going great. They weren't on the verge of being homeless and on welfare anymore. It wasn't a lot, but she didn't have to fret about paying the bills all the time. They were still just getting by, but that was actually better than before – hopping from place to place.

But back to Lucas. He looked nervous for some reason and it had Deb worried. "Is it school?" His report cards were flawless as always, but she had heard that some teachers were giving Lucas a hard time. _Why can't they just let it all go? _Deb hated how her past was hurting her son. He, of course, never spoke of it, never complained, but she knew it affected him.

The boy shook his head. "Not really."

"Did you and Haley have another fight?" Lucas had told her about their little spat last week. She had grown less wary of the little girl that she had to share Lucas' heart with and was even starting to see her as the daughter she'd never had.

Another shake of the head. "Well, what is it baby?"

Lucas scratched at the floor with his foot, not sure how to approach this. He wasn't even sure that he wanted to do it. It was just a thought, but you needed parental consent. "Umm, well, I was talking to the guys the other day…"

'The guys' clearly referred to the boys that Lucas played with at the Rivercourt. Deb had been overjoyed when Lucas told her about them. Keith had attested to seeing Lucas lying on the ground, talking with three or four boys down at the Rivercourt just last week. She had been so worried that he wouldn't open up and make friends here. The woman was glad to find out otherwise. She gestured for her son to continue.

"We were playing basketball and my team won again. We all started talking about, you know, stuff afterwards and the guys mentioned the school's basketball team and – " Lucas looked up at the sound of a plate breaking. He stood up from his chair at the kitchen table. "Mom? Mom, are you okay?"

Deb stared at the plate her shaking hands had dropped. She had had this sinking feeling that this would come up. The feeling had been there since Lucas started school. The blonde woman had seen the Rivercourt, had seen the basketball court there. The feeling had intensified at that point.

It would have stupid to think that her son only went there to sit by the river and watch it flow. Though it sounded like something her baby boy would do, she knew that wasn't why he went. She had known that the idea of playing basketball at school and not just for fun at the Rivercourt would come to her son. _I just wish it wasn't so soon… _She assured Lucas that she was fine and that he should continue speaking.

Lucas wore an uncertain expression, but complied. "Yeah, well, they think I'd be good on the team. It seems like a good idea; it could be a lot of fun. So I went for tryouts…"

"Which is why you were late coming home yesterday?" Her son gave her a sheepish look and nodded.

"The coach for our grade level, um, Coach Craig, he said I was good, but I need a physical and…and permission from you in order to play…"

While a part of her was a little upset that Lucas had already went off and signed up **and **passed through tryouts without her, she was happy for her son. He seemed so excited… _Weren't you thinking how you wish people would just move on from the past? Shall we be a hypocrite, hm? _a mental voice queried. "Let me talk to your Uncle Keith about it after dinner, okay? He'd know more about this than me." A lie, but she **did **want to discuss this with Keith and get his input, his advice.

Lucas only nodded, scampering off to wash up for dinner.

* * *

"He should be able to play basketball without worrying about why I don't want him to."

"He wants to play basketball?" Keith had seated himself on the couch to unwind after a hefty filling of lasagna, bread, and a slice of delicious chocolate cake. _She spoils that kid. _Like he could talk.

But anyway, he had just sat down when Deb launched into this rant. All he caught was that last sentence. _She sure does talk fast at times. _

It appeared that she hadn't heard him. "Dan could be there! I'm supposed be protecting Lucas from him and…and his **world**!" She stared to pace. "Scratch that, I **know **he'll be there. Nathan will doubtlessly be on that team…" She ran a hand through her hair before finally looking at Keith. "What do I do?"

The man blinked at the woman in front of him, almost completely lost. "Come again?" She went over the what Lucas had said earlier and then, slowly, repeated her 'rant'. Keith leaned back, thinking. "On one hand, letting him play would be shoving Lucas towards the very possible situation of meeting his father."

Deb nodded, biting her lip. "I don't want that."

"I know that. **But** Lucas doesn't know who Dan is… This is still a doable thing."

Deb sat down beside him. "Yes, but Dan isn't always a complete moron. He'll figure it out. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if he already knows what Lucas looks like."

Keith shook his head. "I don't think so Deb. I think it'll be fine."

"And Lucas? He's a very smart boy Keith. What if **he **figures it out? We both know, without a doubt, that Lucas will be on that team with Nathan." She sighed. "I should have given Lucas **my **last name."

Keith put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You thought he would come."

"I…I was so sure. He **promised**. He swore that he would be there, that we could start over, start a family." She buried her face in her hands, growing blonde locks creating a curtain. "I was so **stupid**."

Keith winced at her tone, heart going out to her. How could his brother be so stupid? So careless and cruel? How could he get Deb pregnant and ditch her, but wander off to college, knock up another girl, but marry **her**? Why? What made the other woman so much better of a choice? _Idiot. _

"You're not stupid Deb. Dan's never been the brightest of people when it comes to things that don't involve money and glory." He hated how his brother's greed had wreaked such havoc on Deb and Lucas' lives.

"Yeah," she agreed weakly. "At least Lucas has you. Seeing Dan the way he is now…I'd rather you be Lucas' father than him any day."

Though Deb didn't see it, Keith's entire face lit up with a big smile. She had no idea how much hearing that meant to him. _One day_, he promised himself. One day he would tell her how he really felt. _One day. _He shook his head, belatedly noting that Deb was shaking him.

Deb shot Keith a look. The man had been far, far away just a moment ago. _What was he thinking about? _she wondered. He asked her to repeat the question. "I said 'So what do you think?'."

"About Lucas possibly figuring it out?"

Well, that hadn't been it, but it was something. She nodded.

"Scott is a common last name Deb. I'm sure that Nathan and Lucas aren't the only kids with that last name."

That made sense. 'Scott' was a really common last name; there was no reason for anyone to link it back… "The faculty."

Keith blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Haley…Haley has told me, on more than one occasion, that the teachers give Lucas a hard time for some reason. She said that she didn't understand why, but some of them were kind of mean." Deb placed a hand over her mouth in horror. "They know. They all do!"

"How could they possibly know? It's been years and all the teachers can't be the same."

"Yes, but they're all a bunch of gossipers. Word would get around, even with the new teachers. And do you remember Tree Hill High's policy with teachers?"

The man thought for a moment before he sighed. "Yeah…"

"There is no escape," they said in unison.

"So what do I do? Keith…he looked…excited, happy. I think he really wants this. I don't want to deny this to him and have him close up again. This could hurt him. He's always loved basketball…"

"Yeah, I figured. Scott legacy and all," he said with a laugh.

Deb hit him with a pillow. "Not funny! Couldn't that have been a gene you bums kept to yourselves?"

"Hardly," he jokingly shot back while striking back.

* * *

Lucas heard the commotion in the living room and came in. His mother and uncle were smacking each other…with pillows… They were having a pillow fight. He cleared his throat.

Both adults froze and looked over at the blond boy in the doorway. They sheepishly put the pillows behind their backs before shooting Lucas innocent smiles.

Lucas raised an eyebrow.

"Did you need something sweetheart?"

"I was sleeping…you guys woke me up. What are you two doing with the pillows?"

Keith chuckled weakly. How bad was this? He was being scolded, sort of, by his **nephew**. They hadn't been doing anything. Keith and Deb exchanged looks. So why did it feel like Deb's dad had caught them doing something dirty? Lucas was just a kid. What would he know?

"Umm..we have good news hon'."

Ah, way to change the subject. Keith nodded in agreement, discreetly depositing his pillow onto the couch. He smiled at his nephew. He got an 'I saw that' look in return. _So busted._

"What good news?"

"I, we, think you playing basketball is a great idea." She was quick to add, "If that's what you really want…" Deb was surprised to find herself with an armful of Lucas. She stood there for a moment before wrapping her arms around him. She made out a slew out muffled 'Thank you's coming from him. She looked up at Keith, smiling. 'He really wants this,' she mouthed.

'You did the right thing,' he mouthed back. Deb's attention went back to her son. Keith was content to watch the tender mother-son moment.

* * *

Mmhm...there. The co-chapter. Now we have Lucas touching base with basketball. More set-ups! Review and I'll see you next chapter.


	11. Bad Idea

**I Don't Want To Be**

* * *

_Standard Disclaimers Apply._

* * *

------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback

_Italics _… thoughts

**Bold **… emphasis

* * *

I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 11: Bad Idea

* * *

"This bites," Lucas muttered to himself on the bench. He was holding an ice pack over his ankle. Third day of practice and he was already hurt.

_Nathan did that on purpose, I know he did! _He had been going down the court, planning to show off a three-pointer. He was getting really good with those and he wanted to show Coach Craig that.

Unfortunately, there was an obstacle named Nathan and – surprise, surprise! – the rest of the team hadn't been much help. It had become apparent to Lucas, since the first day of practice really, that everyone seemed to follow Nathan's lead.

If Nathan got tired, they got tired too. If Nathan felt like giving the Coach a hard time, everyone gave the coach a hard time as well. And, obviously, if Nathan decided to pick on, harass, and otherwise torture Lucas for whatever reason, then everyone else did so too.

It was annoying and now Nathan's little stunt of tripping him up on the court had him benched until he was better. How was he going to explain this to his mother? She had been reluctant enough to just let him play. She'd be quick to pull him off completely if she heard about this.

_I'll have to come up with something. _He'd need Haley to back him up. That should do it to convince his mom and Keith.

Lucas winced as he shifted the ice over his ankle. It seemed to be getting worse really. There was a lump or something there and the skin was turning this awful blue-purple color… It looked terrible and if the trainer hadn't explained that it was a simple swollen ankle then Lucas would probably be freaking out a little.

When he had fallen, Nathan went on to make it out as a complete accident by falling on top of him too. Actually, he, Nathan, specifically landed on his ankle – hard.

With full weight.

And it freaking **hurt**, okay?

Lucas hadn't screamed very loudly, but it had been loud enough for everyone to know that he wouldn't exactly be hopping back on his feet like nothing had happened.

Not that the same could be said for Nathan, of course. He was just fine, taking his fall like a 'little trooper', as Coach Craig had put it. The coach had carried Lucas over to the bench and had the trainer look at it. After some painful poking and prodding, the trainer said it wasn't broken. It was just going to swell a lot.

Lucas didn't understand why Nathan wasn't punished. The coach had said that he was sure it was all an accident and just had Nathan apologize. _Funny,_ _most people don't smirk like that while they 'sincerely' apologize to someone._

* * *

Keith checked his watch. Practice had ended a few minutes ago. _So Lucas should be coming out any minute now…_

"Keith?"

Keith grimaced, and ignored the person calling him.

"Keith."

The voice, male, sounded sure that he had the right person now, but that didn't mean Keith would turn around and talk to him.

"Keith, I know that's you and I know you hear me."

"So?" _Come on kid, where are you?_

"Is that how it is now big brother?"

Keith sucked in a breath, wondering why the man wouldn't just **leave him** **alone**. "If I say yes, will you go away?"

He heard a frustrated sound before a hand clamped down on his shoulder and forced him to turn around. "No."

Keith refrained from rolling his eyes – barely. Surprise, surprise. _Little brother always has to have his way over every little thing. Can we say 'control freak'?_ "What do you want Dan?"

"Nothing, just wondering what you were doing here. You don't have any kids and I doubt you've been struck with the sudden desire to spend time with your nephew."

Crap. He wanted to say that he was here to spend time with his nephew – Lucas, but that would ruin everything. The snippy barb was just **so **tempting, but…Deb didn't want Dan to know. _So lie! Think of a lie! _

"I…do have a kid here." There was a silence and Keith was thinking of something else in case Dan called him on this one.

"You have a son? On the basketball team? Here?"

"Seems to be that way, yes, and yes – hence me being here Danny-boy."

Dan stared at his older brother in shock. There was no way. How? When? And most importantly – "With who?"

"None of your business."

Dan huffed. "Sure. So where is he then?" Dan was forced to release his brother when the other man went running towards the entrance. He speed-walked after Keith, refusing to be left like that. He wanted answers, right now. And Dan Scott always got what he wanted.

* * *

"Lucas? Lucas!"

Lucas looked up from the floor. He'd been focusing on it moreso than the direction he was walking in. He found himself swept into a pair of strong arms. Smelled like…cars and…something else. _Uncle Keith. _"Umm…you can let go now."

Keith released his nephew, running his eyes over him in concern. When he had seen his nephew come through the doors with the assistance of his coach, panic had flooded Keith's system. "What happened to your leg kiddo?"

A shadow fell over them both and Keith refrained from telling his brother to piss off. Had to watch the language around Lucas.

Lucas looked curiously at his uncle's expression as another strange man came up. He had dark hair and scarily familiar eyes. Lucas frowned at the man's condescending expression. The man reminded him of someone…

"Lucas?" Keith didn't like Lucas' gaze being on Dan. Lucas was a smart boy, and scarily observant. Keith feared that if Lucas was allowed to study Dan long enough…well, the elder Scott was afraid the boy would figure it out.

"Hm?" Lucas replied distractedly. His ice blue eyes shifted to his worried uncle. What had he asked him? "Oh, my ankle. Just a little accident," the boy said lightly. His face said that there was more though. He'd tell his uncle about his suspicions later. Saying it now would make Coach Craig jump in.

Keith frowned. "Little accident?" He stood up, straightening himself, and fixed a stern frown on the coach. "And how did this 'little accident' occur?" There was an ice pack strapped to his nephew's ankle. Lucas looked pained whilst limping out of the gym, even with help. This was not a 'little accident' to Keith.

"Just a fall Mr. Scott. One of the boys tripped up on the court and took Lucas down with him." Craig Jones resisted the urge to squirm under the other man's intense gaze. Keith was looking at him like he could burn a hole thought him right on the spot. "Your son is okay, I swear. His ankle will just be a little swollen."

Keith wasn't happy, but he wanted to get Lucas home and off that ankle. "Right." His eyes went to Lucas just as the boy was about to say something.

"Oh Coach, he's not –"

Then it hit him. _"Your son is okay, I swear." **Son! **_"Come on Lucas," he said quickly. "Time to go."

Lucas looked at his uncle as he helped him limp along to the car. "But – "

"Don't worry," Keith interrupted again, highly aware of the person listening on the conversation. "I'm sure we can break this to your mom without her freaking out." The three of them – Deb, Lucas, and himself – were so used to correcting those who weren't in on their history, that the boy was probably about to set the record straight as usual. But that couldn't happen today. Not after what he'd told Dan.

The coach left too and Dan turned to watch his brother help the blond child that was supposed to be his son along. There was something about that kid…something familiar. The way the kid had been staring at him with those eyes of his…sharp eyes they were. A familiar blue color.

So his brother did have a son. It felt weird to have missed that. Surely, there would have been talk about Keith getting married and having a kid. This town was so full of gossip that something had to be known. His own wife would have heard about it somewhere and said something by now right? _Not if she thought I wouldn't care. _

It was no secret that the Scott brothers – Keith and Dan – weren't big fans of each other. But surely not to the point that a wife and kid would have been mentioned in passing, if not by his wife, then at least by their parents. _Maybe they don't know_, he mused while watching the pair.

Dan was so wrapped up in watching Lucas and Keith leave that he didn't notice his own son approach him. A hand tugging on his business coat made him look down to see blue eyes so like his own.

"Dad, can we leave now?" Nathan didn't know what the heck his dad had been looking at, but he didn't really care. He just wanted to go home, eat, and sleep.

"Yeah, let's go," Dan replied absently.

* * *

Lucas had been suitably distracted by the new topic, letting go of his uncle's intervention in him correcting his coach. His mom's impending fussing was a more pressing matter. "Do you think she'll be mad?" the blue-eyed child queried as his uncle unlocked the truck.

"At you? Nah… Though you may want to safeguard your coach and whoever knocked your over. Speaking of which…was there something you wanted to tell me back there?" At this his nephew fidgeted, causing Keith to pause in closing the passenger side door.

Lucas sighed in his seat. _Might as well tell him now. _"It was Nathan."

Lucas' expression made Keith worry. _What's he thinking about? _"Lucas?" This seemed to snap the boy out of it. "You said it was that Nathan kid?" The boy nodded and Keith felt something knot up in his stomach. "Nathan…?" _Please don't say 'Scott', please don't say 'Scott', **please** don't say 'Scott', please don't say – _

"Scott. Nathan Scott."

Keith inwardly groaned. It figured. The two barely knew who the other was and they already had the beginnings of a feud going. They would likely end up like Dan and himself, two brothers that couldn't stand one another. Scott family tradition it would be. _Wonderful. _"Right, and this is the same kid who gave you trouble at lunch that one day?" he asked while seating himself on the driver's side.

"Yes."

"Been harassing you much?" Great. He started up the truck.

"Ever since then."

Perfect. "Do you know why?"

"Because he was picking on some kids and I made him stop."

That was Lucas for you, sweet kid with a big heart. "How'd you do that?" Nathan was no angel and he doubted that the kid had stopped once Lucas politely asked him to do so. Keith was praying Lucas wouldn't say that he punched the kid out. It would be out-of- character, but it was all the man could think of to stop Nathan. That or calling a teacher. _Please say you called a teacher…_

"I pushed him off the kid." Or maybe it was one of Nathan's friends that he'd pushed. He didn't remember what had happened exactly, only that Nathan had ended up on the floor.

_I should really stop praying for him to say a certain thing, it'll probably never work. _"I see. So now he doesn't like you and is giving you a hard time," Keith concluded as he drove along.

"Mmhm," the blond boy replied distantly. He was thinking about something he'd seen in the parking lot as they'd pulled off.

Keith was thinking too, but not about the same thing. _Deb's going to kill me. _All he had to do was pick Lucas up and bring him home in one piece. She'd flip over the ankle, but that was fixable. She'd get over that. What she wouldn't be so quick to get over was the run-in with Dan and the beginnings of a feud between Nathan and Lucas. What she wouldn't get over at all was the fact that Dan now thought that Lucas was his son.

_Whoo, it's going to be a long night._

* * *

And there's the end of chapter 11. We have the beginnings of a feud and the first few strings of what will be a very tangled web. We'll be jumping in time a bit, so get ready for that. Review and I'll see you next chapter!


	12. A Mystery and Its Lies

**I Don't Want To Be**

* * *

_Standard Disclaimers Apply._

* * *

------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback

_Italics _… thoughts

**Bold **… emphasis

* * *

I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 12: A Mystery and Its Lies (Part I)

* * *

Haley had been wandering around for about an hour, looking for her best friend. First, she paid a visit to the café to see if the boy was in there. Deb, his mother, was the owner. Lucas was a momma's boy if she had ever seen one, though he had better reasoning than most, so it was logical to think that he'd be hanging around in there.

No such luck. Deb had told her that he had gone out today and was probably just jogging down a trail with his walkman or something.

It was kind of breezy outside, a cold fall day. It didn't seem like a good day to go for a jog. Haley was bundled up in a coat with a fuzzy scarf, gloves, and hat set. Though Lucas often went wandering out in what Haley considered 'bad weather', she didn't think he'd do it today.

So the young sixth grader went to see Keith. It was Saturday and Lucas often went to his uncle's garage on the weekend. The older man had seemed surprised to see her. His surprise at her popping up was lessening as the days went on though.

Unfortunately, that was a dead end too. Sure, Lucas **had **been there, but he wasn't anymore. In fact, the blond had left half an hour ago. He was not at home reading. That really left one other place.

The Rivercourt.

Upon reaching the old court, Haley was not happy to find it empty. Was he not – ah, there he was. Haley managed to spot her blond-haired buddy by the river, his sunny strands a bright contrast to the dark bark he was leaning against. It was a good thing she had been standing on this spot. Any other angle would have hidden the silent boy from view.

The spunky brunette ran over to him, wondering what he was doing. Surprise, surprise, Lucas wasn't really doing anything. The boy was just sitting there, staring into space. She plopped down beside him with a sudden grunt. Haley didn't bother trying to scare the crap out of Lucas anymore.

Okay, she did, but not as often. The blond hardly reacted, ever, and seemed to have more success in turning the tables by scaring Haley. The boy insisted that he didn't do it on purpose, but that secretive smirk of his made her wonder sometimes…

* * *

"What are you doing?"

Lucas glanced over at his friend, her curious brown eyes looking back at him. "Thinking," he replied simply.

There was a pause. And then, "You think a lot. Did you know that?"

Lucas turned his head to look at Haley. "I…have a lot to think about."

"Does it make your head hurt?"

_What kind of question is that? _Mind you, this was Haley, and she often asked him questions he thought were odd. So really, he should be used it by now. _But back to her question. _"No. Should it?"

"My big sister told me that she didn't do her homework because it made her have to think. She said that thinking a lot makes her head hurt."

Lucas blinked. "Oh, well…thinking a lot doesn't make my head hurt." It **did **mean that one of them was weird though. Thinking a lot either hurt or it didn't, right? Well, his sixth grade logic said it was either one or the other. "Maybe something's wrong with your sister."

Haley seemed to consider this seriously. "You know what?"

"What?" She didn't **look **mad or offended, so that meant she wasn't about to go off. Or so Luke supposed.

"You're probably right." She nodded, as if re-confirming it. "She is a bit weird. This shouldn't be any different. Thinking a lot doesn't hurt. She's probably just lazy or something."

Lucas smiled slightly, shaking his head. The relationships between Haley and her many siblings were always quite entertaining to him. It was lonely sometimes, being an only child... The blonde lay on the grass, his feet inches from the riverbank. Haley copied his move. And the two simply laid there in peace, watching the clouds pass by.

* * *

"So…what were you thinking about?"

The peaceful silence had lasted all of five minutes before Haley broke it. Lucas supposed she couldn't stand it. The tiny brunette always seemed more talkative around him. She had become more sociable, Emily had told him once. _"I think it's for you. Or maybe it's for our group of friends," _the blonde speculated during lunch one day.

It had been just the two of them, but not because everyone else was gone. It seemed that the two of them had been thinking alike that day, opting to skip lunch in favor of hiding out in the library with a good book. He had asked what she had meant by that. The blonde was silent and Lucas had been thinking that she didn't have an answer.

Then, seconds after that thought, she spoke. _"It'd be weird to have three really quiet people in a group of eight, wouldn't it? That's almost half the group. Two is better, or less awkward anyway." _

He had asked her if that 'two' was to be him and her. The blonde had shrugged and went back to reading without answering him. Lucas wanted to ask what she meant by 'awkward', but let it go. He'd seen it before in some books and believed it meant 'weird' or something similar. _Oh well, whatever._

Back to the present then.

"I was thinking about something," Lucas told her.

He received a snort in reply. "Obviously. But **what **exactly were you thinking about?"

"A strange man from a few weeks ago." ((Hah! You thought I was going to jump up a few months or a year or so right? Right? No…oh. Well then, you can at least pretend…you know, just for my sake, right? Right.))

"Where did you see him?"

"After basketball practice. Remember when mom was suddenly set on pulling me from the team?"

There was a pause as Haley tried to remember. "Oh yeah, it was after that thing with your ankle or something right? She totally freaked," the girl said with a laugh.

Lucas shot her a sour look. It had taken a lot of begging, pleading, pouting, and sulking to win her over. Playing down his injury a lot helped too. "Not funny, but yeah it was that day. He was looking at Uncle Keith and me really weird, and I saw the way Uncle Keith had looked at him when he thought I wasn't paying attention. I don't think Uncle Keith likes him very much."

"And you do?" she asked, trying to get a feel for whatever problem there seemed to be.

Lucas immediately shook his head, staring at the sky again. "No, he was just looking at me funny. It…I didn't like it." It had made him feel insignificant, like he didn't deserve to be there or something. It was an unsettling feeling of sheer unworthiness that put Lucas on edge.

"Did the man say something to you?"

"No…not really."

"Well, he must be **some **kid's dad. All you have to do is avoid that kid and you should be set for life." She paused here. "Well, maybe not set for life because there's no reason to think that you'd be stuck knowing this kid for life, so you wouldn't have to worry about being 'set for life' with not running into the kid's dad."

"Uh…Haley?" She was doing that rambling thing again…

"Of course, you're on the basketball team and he's probably one of the dads, which means you'll probably being seeing him at the games a lot."

_Oh come **on**, not again! _"Haley."

The brunette went on as usual though. "…Unless he's one of those unsupportive parents that don't like to go and watch their kids play. Or maybe he'd just be mean like that. You don't like him, so he can't be that good of a person, so maybe he **is **just mean like that."

"Hales!"

She shut up.

It didn't take her as long to notice when he was trying to stop her rambling. It took a few tries, but at least he didn't have to yell so loud that everyone around him, even himself sometimes, was startled.

Lucas wasn't a loud person by nature, so yelling wasn't really the norm for him. Being loud at all, even in Mia's harmless manner of loud, wasn't his style. He was a quiet kid – end of story.

"I'm sure it'll be okay. But it would be good to know whose dad he is."

Suddenly, Haley rolled over to face him.

Lucas stared at her. "What?"

A determined expression was fixed on her cute face, not that Lucas cared for such things right now – or ever in Haley's case.

"What?" he repeated.

"Detective Haley James is on the case!" she declared while pumping a fist into the air.

Lucas sighed. He'd forgotten that Haley was on a Clue kick. _Those detective books of hers…_ He sighed again, mentally this time. Oh well, he might as well humor her, right? No need to shoot the odd girl down. "Okay, so what do we do?"

Ecstatic that Lucas would cooperate with everything, Haley thought for a moment, ready to put her detective skills to work. "Okay, so what does this guy look like?"

* * *

Deb was wiping down the counters. The usual after-lunch lull was occurring and she took the opportunity to clean up a little in the mean time.

The blonde-haired woman did not look up as the jingle of a bell reached her ears, signaling the entrance of a customer. She heard one of her few employees greet the customer properly. The sound of the reply, however, made her look up.

Numbly, the rag slipped from Deb's grip and onto the floor. She steeled herself, picking up her rag and wiping at the counters again – roughly.

"Oh come on Deb, you're not still mad are you?"

Deb ignored the man, continuing her cleaning.

"Deb." The man took a seat. "Come on Deb. We need to talk; this is just ridiculous now."

She huffed, turning to grab a knife and cut some sandwiches. It continued this way for several minutes. She went about cutting up sandwiches while the dark-haired man pleaded for her to give him a chance to talk to her.

Fed up, Deb turned to walk to the back. A strong arm reached over the counter and Deb found herself caught by a strong, but non-bruising, grip. She looked back at the man. Her eyes went from the arm, to the hand, back to the arm, and then up to the man's face. His expression was that of a man who was sorry and desperate to patch things up.

Deb was proud that she remained strong for all of one minute before her shoulders slumped as she let out a long exhale. She yanked her wrist free and waved the man around the counter and towards the back.

He followed, obviously nervous.

As Deb allowed him to enter the back room ahead of her and closed the door behind them, it became apparent that he had good reason to be nervous. Her arms were folded and her face said that he didn't have a lot of time before she blew up at him and walked. "You wanted to talk? So talk Keith, **talk**."

_This was a bad idea. Too early maybe. _But it was too late now. He had to fix things now or she'd hold this over him forever. Keith Scott swallowed as he prepared to face one of the scariest types of people on earth.

An angry, highly protective single mother.

With a big knife in her hand.

* * *

"Okay, tall, muscle-y, dresses like a man that might work in a fancy office or something, dark eyes, dark blue eyes, really mean-looking." Haley frowned as repeated the key features. "That's, like, half the team's dads Luke."

The blond boy shrugged. "That's what I saw. He had dark brown, maybe black hair. His eyes were this…this…" What was the word? _Got it! _"His eyes were this intense blue. It made me really uncomfortable. And he had this whole 'I'm better than you and the rest of the world too' attitude to him. I could tell even though he didn't say anything to me."

Haley scratched her head. That didn't help her any. She had met or seen everyone on the basketball team, but not all of their parents. She had met/seen enough of them to think that she would be able to name this mystery dad. _So much for that, _she thought sourly.

"I'm not sure who that could be Luke."

"He reminds me of someone, really he does. I just can't figure out…" a frown here "..who…"

"Lucas? Lucas what is it?"

Lucas was thinking. He was now getting that feeling he always got when his highly-active brain was onto something. So, for a moment, the boy ignored Haley and continued thinking.

Then it struck him.

Nathan's dark hair, blue eyes, and haughty attitude popped into his mind, followed by the image of that strange man that had been standing behind his uncle. Same dark hair, same blue eyes…same cocky, snobby attitude. He grimaced, covering his eyes with his crossed arms, and groaned.

Haley pried her friend's arms from his face, pouting at his inattentive actions. "Lucas, what is it??"

"Not what – who." And part of him felt that he really shouldn't be all that surprised.

"Okay, so who is it?"

"Nathan."

* * *

Aaaaaand….cut! Lucas has one part of the puzzle figured out. Will it only be a matter of time until he figures out everything else? Why is Deb so mad at Keith? Review and you just might find out next chapter!


	13. A Mystery and Its Lies II

**I Don't Want To Be**

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_Standard Disclaimers Apply._

* * *

_I've decided that I should start thanking my reviewers in the author's note as a sign of my appreciation. You guys, and ladies, rock! So thanks to all my reviewers from Chapter 1 and on. _

_Thank you to reviewers, or reviewer rather, of the last chapter: _nemo123489.

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------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback

_Italics _… thoughts

**Bold **… emphasis

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I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 12b: A Mystery and Its Lies (Part II)

* * *

Haley stared down at Lucas, having shot up as soon as that name passed his lips.

"N-Nathan? Like Nathan Scott?" This was really bad. Nathan hated Lucas as it was. If it turned out that his father had Lucas on his 'People I Do Not Like' list too then it'd be over for her best friend. No one ever escaped scott-free (no pun intended…no really!) when it came to that man disliking you.

"Yeah. I think, no, I **know **that he's Nathan's dad. There's no mistaking it." Sure, he had only been able to make out some dark-haired kid coming out to stand beside the man, but he was pretty sure that that had been Nathan.

Besides, Nathan had been the only one still in the gym when Lucas walked – or limped rather – out. _I think… _That day was a little fuzzy to him, but Luke trusted his gut feeling here.

Haley voiced her earlier thoughts. "This is really bad, Luke."

The blond frowned and sat up. "What do you mean?"

"…You know how Nathan, um, isn't the nicest kid around?"

Wow, understatement of the year. "Yeah?"

"Well, he probably got it from his dad because he isn't the nicest person either." Her dad had told her about the man once. Okay, so he was talking/complaining to her mother and she had overheard him – but whatever!

Both had the same result: she knew things about that man. Haley proceeded to tell Lucas these 'things' she'd heard from her father. Her mother had agreed with them all, having met the man before too. This made everything completely golden.

Her parents were weird people, but good. Sometimes neglectful, sometimes very childish, but overall…they were good people. They liked to see the good in most people, but each had people on their 'People I Do Not Like' lists. Few of those people were on both lists. Now, if her parents agreed whole-heartedly about something **bad **about another person – **together **– then that person was definitely bad news.

Dan Scott could most certainly go under the 'Definitely Bad News' category.

Now onto what Haley told Lucas.

Dan Scott was an _"evil man with no heart"_. He was mean, _"arrogant"_ (whatever that's supposed to mean), had a _"'holier than thou' attitude"_ (again, whatever that's supposed to mean), and a bunch of other things that were probably adjectives of several other things.

Lucas listened to these things in what was really close to horror. The man had seemed bad enough right off the bat – now there was all this? Was this why his uncle didn't like him? It seemed logical enough. Lucas couldn't see very many people liking someone that was so mean.

"Is he this way with everyone?"

Haley nodded. "Seems so."

"But why?"

There was a silence as Haley stared at her best friend. He always had to ask the hard questions. "I don't know, Lucas, I don't know."

Lucas frowned, unsatisfied with the answer. He'd have to accept that 'I don't know' for now though.

* * *

"So that's why I did it. Dan was starting to ask too many questions and that was all I could think of to throw him off. Any resemblances can be written off to Scott Family traits by me being his dad."

"It could still draw attention to him though! The feud between you two, even though it's died down over the years, is still big gossip-worthy news here!" Deb was still upset, obviously.

Keith sighed. "I know."

"And you know Dan is willing to take any shots at you that he can. A wife and kid that he doesn't know about? He'll still ask questions. You **know** howhe hates to be the last to know things like this. His older brother tying the knot and having a kid Lucas' age without his knowledge? That's not going to fly with him and you know it!"

"What was I supposed to do?!" Keith didn't mean to raise his voice, but this was wearing on him. He had done what he had thought was right in the situation. It was the only way to throw Dan off the trail immediately. "If I had said nothing or that Lucas was just some kid I had grown attached to, he would have snooped around even more! The first would have set off his alarms and he'd be determined to unravel 'the mystery'." Keith used air quotes for 'mystery'. "And the second option? Deb, I couldn't even bring myself to write off Lucas as 'some kid I had grown attached to'."

Deb's expression softened a little, but she was still mad. Well, Deb really wasn't mad so much as she was in a terrified-and-lashing-out mode. Her son, her only son, her whole freaking **world **was in danger. It was only natural that she'd react this way to the perceived cause of this danger. "You could have said you were picking him up as a favor."

"For who Deb?"

"A friend from the garage."

"Dan knows everyone there. Their names, if they're married and to whom they're married, if they have kids, who those kids are, what the wife and kids look like – all of the 'basics'." Again with the air quotes. "Calls it 'watching possible competition'. Really, he just wants to see if there's anyone worth stealing from me." Not that it would work, none of his workers would ever ditch him for Dan.

"A friend not from the garage?"

"I don't have any close friends 'not from the garage' besides you."

_Oh. _"A lady friend you're trying to win over?"

Keith shook his head. "He'd snoop around for women I hang around with a lot. Women with a blond-haired son with blue eyes. Dan would find out the only woman I hang around outside of the garage is you. And then we'd really have a problem." Keith frowned. "Does he even know you're in town?"

Deb fidgeted. "No. No one has the nerve to go up to Dan and just blurt out my being here. They're too afraid of the whole 'shoot the messenger' scenario for that." No one wanted to risk being right there if and when Dan blew up after hearing that his ex-girlfriend, son in tow, was back in town.

"Oh," was all Keith had to say to that.

Deb shook her head. "But back to the main topic. Maybe you're right, maybe that was the only way."

Finally, he was forgiven. _Ah, but she's not done yet._

"People see you hanging around Lucas and myself all the time. What about that?"

"…" Keith had nothing to say to that. He didn't know **what** tosay to that. She had a point. He mysteriously had a wife and kid – fine, but Lucas could easily be traced back to Deb. Writing Deb and Lucas off as Keith's wife and kid – respectively – wouldn't sit well with Dan. There was too much history there… So how could they do it?

_I've got it! _"Dan never really did believe that Lucas was his son."

Deb looked up at Keith, not sure where he was going with this. _He'd better have a good reason for bringing that up though._ That very statement had been a source of misery for many years before Deb decided that she didn't care if he didn't believe her. Dan wouldn't ever be a part of Lucas' life anyway. Hers either.

"We could play off that. You know there's nothing that Danny loves to hear more than 'you're right'."

Deb nodded, seeming to catch on. "Common knowledge – so?" Or not.

"Tell him it he was right – tell him Lucas isn't his son. Tell him that Lucas is my son – my son all along."

* * *

"So…now that we've solved that mystery, what do you want to do?"

Lucas shrugged, laying back down. "I dunno."

"Don't know."

"What?"

"Don't know. 'Dunno' is not a word."

Lucas groaned. "Haley…"

"What?" Nothing. "What?"

"Come on," Lucas said as he stood. "Let's go see what we can get from the café." The boy brushed himself off as best he could and turned to Haley. He held his hands out to help her.

Haley let out a breath as Lucas pulled her up quickly. She nearly tripped and took them both down. "I'm fine, I'm fine," she said while brushing the leaves off of her clothes and out of her hair. "Okay, let's go."

Making sure his very clumsy friend didn't trip up again and fall flat on her face, Lucas started walking. "Right."

As they walked, Haley noticed the difference in attire between Lucas and herself. She was bundled up in a 'bubble' coat, a fuzzy scarf, fuzzy gloves, and a little fuzzy skull cap too. She had on boots to ward off the cold from her thick sock-clad feet. Haley wasn't cold, but still felt the breeze.

Then there was Lucas. The boy only had on loose jeans, tennis shoes, and a hoodie. She assumed that there was a shirt or t-shirt underneath there. He might have been wearing thick socks, but, for some reason, Haley doubted it. His hood seemed to be serving as a substitute for a hat. His pockets were stand-ins for gloves.

Haley frowned at the boy. "Aren't you cold?" she asked him.

"Nah, not really. I like the cold."

Haley wrinkled her rosy little nose. "I can't stand the cold."

Lucas chuckled. "So I guess winter doesn't do it for you then?"

"**No**. I **hate **the winter and everything about it."

"So you hate Christmas then?"

There was a silence as Haley realized that she had been set up. "I do like Christmas."

"Uh huh…"

"No really, I do!"

Lucas laughed. After a few paces, the boy realized that Haley wasn't walking beside him anymore. He turned around to see that she was standing there, staring at him with this…look on her face. "What?"

Haley smiled then and shook her head. Coming up to him, she shook her head again. "Nothing, come on."

She smiled as if she had some funny secret and it made Lucas wonder for a minute before he decided that he didn't want to know.

Haley smiled secretively as they walked along. She'd never heard Lucas laugh before…

* * *

A little friendly fluff to finish it off. How will Lucas take this plan cooked up by Keith and Deb? Will they even be able to tell Lucas? Review and you just might find out!


	14. Before the Game

**I Don't Want To Be**

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_Standard Disclaimers Apply._

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_Thank you to all my reviewers **and** readers from Chapter 1 and on. _

_I will now start doing reviewer responses, starting with the reviewers of the last chapter. Here they are for Chapter 12 B:_

lucasscottlover1

_Hm...there's going to be a lot of drama and a lot of angst before this fic is through - brace yourself! Glad that it's at least interesting though, thank you for the review._

the ghost of christmas goth

_Ah love. I'm afraid it may be a few chapters before any real pairings are plotted and established. This won't be much of a romance story. Naley is a given, but Leyton...eh... I know the show has now established Leyton as the end and be all but.. I don't know. We'll see. I was, originally, thinking Brucas in the end. However, I may decide to do a poll for ending pairings. Again, we'll see. As for lust...eh. Don't know what to tell you there. Thanks for the review! _

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------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback

_Italics _… thoughts

**Bold **… emphasis

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I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 13: Before the Game

* * *

"So are you ready baby?"

Lucas looked over at his mother from his spot on his bed. "Ready for what mom?" he asked.

Deb stepped into her son's room cautiously. Things had been very rocky on all fronts for the past two months or so. "The game sweetie."

"Oh…that."

Deb hated how he didn't sound excited about it anymore. But no matter how many times she asked, Lucas refused to tell her what was ruining his favorite sport for him.

She had noticed that he returned from practice, and school, with a more disheartened expression every day. He would tell her nothing, always saying that nothing was wrong. Keith said it was just kid stuff, but Deb suspected he was withholding something from her.

Then there was the small problem of her not coming to the games. She just couldn't bring herself to do it, knowing that **he **could be there.

On top of that, Deb and Keith had opted to say nothing to Lucas about the plan. He would only ask questions about why they had to pretend. Questions they wouldn't be able to bring themselves to answer. Keith said it just didn't seem right to mess with Lucas' head that way. He'd be 'playing' as Lucas' father, but wouldn't actually **be** him.

That was true enough, but Deb suspected that there was another reason. If they were to tell Lucas that Keith had been his father all along, he'd be crushed. The boy would wonder why Keith only came around every once in a while. He'd want to know why he hadn't been told sooner. Lucas, sweet and forgiving as he was, would never forgive this transgression. To have his father right there the whole time – alive, not dead…around, not 'missing'. Keith's relationship with Lucas would never be the same. What would be left of it?

Deb never spoke of her suspicions though. She understood, and besides, Lucas would be upset with her too. Regardless of Keith's spot in her life, Lucas would always be her whole world. If she ever lost him in any way…it'd be the end of her.

_No_, a voice chimed in. _Those pills you had thirty minutes ago will be the end of you._ She grimaced at the words, mind pulling up the memory of her downing some pills for 'courage'.

She had **needed **those pills though. They were all that could keep her numb enough to make it through what she was about to do. It was for Lucas though, all for Lucas.

_And that makes it all okay, right?_

Her inner voice scoffed, apparently disagreeing, but it said nothing in reply.

* * *

"Yes, that," he heard his mother say.

He loved basketball. He loved playing for the school, really he did. He loved impressing his coach, loved being impressive to some adult other than his mother and uncle – **period**. But what he didn't love was all the grief it was causing him.

Nathan harassed him continuously, though Lucas never suffered another semi-serious physical injury again. The dark-haired boy and his 'followers', as Lucas had taken to calling them, were on his case in and out of practice. It was starting to not be fun anymore. He was beginning to think it wasn't worth it.

And he knew that strange man's name now. Dan Scott, father of Nathan and Crystal Scott, some car dealer guy. He always seemed to be around when Lucas was being picked up for practice. Whenever he got in his mom's car or Keith's truck, the blond boy always felt like he was being watched.

If he ever looked back at the man, he'd receive this haughty, you-are-not-worthy look. If he was so unworthy, why did Dan keep staring at him all the time? It was getting a little creepy.

Then there were the 'random' visits Dan would pay to the team during practice. He was always forcing them to pass and pass and pass to Nathan. Nathan, apparently, was the star. The kicker was that Coach didn't even stop him. He seemed quite afraid of the man. Lucas remembered that his coach had tried to speak up once…

It hadn't turned out well.

So school sucked, practice sucked, and now home was pretty sucky too. His mother and uncle had been acting really weird lately. Like weirder than the time he'd caught them pillow fighting.

Again.

Lucas knew there was something they weren't telling him. Adults were allowed secrets, and Lucas understood there were some things that he didn't need to know.

It was just… Lucas had the feeling that this secret was a big secret, a secret that had something to do with him. That meant that he deserved to know /something/. But no, they'd kept their mouths shut, sometimes lying outright about it. The secretive air made time at home and time around them tense.

He spent most of his time around Haley and the 'Rivercourt Gang' as Haley's older sister called them.

Right now though, there was a game he had tonight. Tree Hill Ravens vs. Remington Hawks. These games used to bring him excitement. Now he dreaded them. Oh, he did well enough when the team wasn't playing **against** him and **with** Nathan. And it was great when he didn't feel like Dan was staring him down from the stands while simultaneously shouting at Nathan to run faster.

Icing on the cake? No mother to cheer him on. He had been so ready that first game – ready to show his mother that she'd made the right decision in letting him play. He had wanted to make her proud, had wanted to hear her cheering him on.

No such luck.

Oh, she was at the café with a celebratory dinner, or a consolation dinner if they lost, waiting for him when it was over. But Lucas didn't care about 'when it was over'. He cared about 'when it was on'. And when the game was on, his mother wasn't there. Yeah, his uncle made his appearances and that was great but he wanted his **mother** there.

It was the end of the season and she hadn't been to one single game.

And now…now Lucas was just tired. Maybe joining had been a bad idea.

"Lucas?" came his mother's questioning voice.

"I'm coming," he said while slowly picking himself off the bed. "I'm coming."

* * *

When they arrived at the gymnasium, Lucas had simply gotten out of the car, closed the door, and started walking towards the doors. He stopped waiting to see what his mother would do after the first four games – when she proved that she would only wave, give him the thumbs up and/or blow him a kiss, and drive away.

Tonight was different though. Tonight as he stood slightly inside the gym with a blank look, Lucas felt a delicate hand on his shoulder. He blinked slowly and looked up.

"Mom?"

Deb smiled down at her obviously shocked son. His confused and somewhat doubtful look pained her, but she knew it was to be expected. She hadn't stuck around before, why would he think differently now?

A silent question was asked and she smiled wider before nodding. Yes, she'd be in the stands. When her son gave her that wonderful smile of his, Deb felt the pain ebb away as it was replaced with happiness. She would do this for him. Sure she wasn't proud of the way she planned on getting through this, but she was here.

"Deb?"

She froze. It looked like **he** was here too. _Great, just great. _She'd had the feeling that this would happen, but not before the game started. Or before she even stepped inside the gym.

* * *

"Deb?"

It couldn't be. She…she…

_Looks great, _an inner voice finished for him. Deb had always been beautiful to him, and he imagined that she always would be. Time had been good to the woman, he could tell even with her back turned to him.

Fitted black jeans, a simple white shirt that was a little longer than her jacket, a black leather jacket, and black boots – the woman looked amazing. Her dirty blonde locks looked as soft as ever. She had kept them at shoulder length, just as they were in high school, the wavy tresses falling freely.

She had tensed up when he had called her name. Not surprising given their, ah, history. Even less surprising considering their last meeting. He had been shocked to find that she was in town. Shocked that she had her son in tow. He hadn't been there at their little 'meeting', but he'd seen the boy. She had confirmed his identity after Dan described the boy.

He had been so high and mighty at first, asking if she was here to beg for money, with Keith present for moral support or something. She had huffed, highly offended. _"My café is doing quite well thank you. I don't your money Daniel." _Daniel. He **hated **the sound of his 'official' first name.

"_So you haven't come for child support then?" _he had asked. So ignorant, so **sure**…

She had been quick to correct him. _"Child support for what? I have no child of yours." _He had laughed, telling her to quit her games. She had insisted that there was no game. Deb had told him that she and Keith had come to clear the air, to get it over with.

"_What?"_ He had still been holding to his image, but his brother and ex-girlfriend had only smiled, as if his confusion was so much more evident than he had thought.

Keith, specifically, had seemed to be grinning as he put an arm around Deb's waist – an effortless move on his part. _"That's right Danny-boy. We've come with a confession."_ A confession that Keith had been all-too-ready to share.

Dan's eyes fell to the confused blond boy. The boy was looking inquiringly up at his mother.

Lucas.

That was his name. Lucas Eugene Scott. It was a terrible middle name, or so Dan felt. Little did he know that Lucas and Keith agreed with that sentiment. But anyway.

Lucas.

He'd been watching the boy, searching for an answer. Searching for something that would tell him if his brother had been lying or not that day in the parking lot.

And for what?

"_I know you've been watching Lucas. I don't know why, but I want you to leave him alone. You have no reason to watch my son." _Just like that, Keith had set the record straight (though you, the reader, know that there's nothing straight about it).

"… … … …_my son."_ He had said it with such pride, such **happiness**. It had made him sick, **still **made him sick. He had accused them of lying, saying this jig was up and that they all knew Lucas was really his. He had said it, throwing his suspicions out there, waiting for their reactions.

Nothing.

No reaction.

No paling, no stuttering, no shocked or horrified looks. Just knowing smiles that made him sick to his stomach.

_"I saw no reason to tell you Daniel," _Deb had said. Agh, that accursed full first name again. _"You never believed he was yours anyway, so why tell you he was Keith's? You'd only rub it in my face, gloating about how right you were."_

"_So…he's not my son."_

"_No Daniel, Lucas is not your son."_

There had been none of the gloating that Deb had spoken of that day. Dan had donned an air of nonchalance, dismissing the sickeningly happy pair. He had watched, sick to his stomach, as they left **holding hands**. They had been acting like freaking teenagers; it was **disgusting**.

He had kept watching Lucas, picking off Scott family traits, memories welling to the surface with every glance. _"Not your son." _So much drama over one lousy kid. Contempt often took over when the boy dared to meet, or try to meet, his gaze. Then the child would just look away, obviously bothered.

Oh yeah? Well he was bothered too! All this time – the fights with his wife, the questioning looks from his kids about those fights, the issues with his brother, the drama with his parents, drama with this whole town! All of it for **nothing**. That's what this kid was to him – **nothing**.

Dan guessed that his negative emotions must have showed in his eyes because in the next moment, Deb shooed her son away. Also, the displeased elbowing from his wife as she ushered their own son along, daughter in tow, was a sign that he must have been giving off a nasty look.

* * *

"So what are you doing here?"

What was she doing here? As if she didn't belong here or had no business here at all. The audacity of that man! Deb scowled. "I'm here to watch my son play Dan."

"Back to 'Dan' are we? It was 'Daniel' not too long ago."

Deb rolled her eyes at his perceived victory. Arrogant little prick. How could she have **ever **wanted to be with him? He was just unbearable! "Whatever Dan, I'm not staying here for this." She turned to walk away.

Dan reached out and grabbed her wrist. For one thing, no one walked away from Dan Scott before he was done with them. For another thing, he wanted to see those baby blues of hers one more time. Even with the angry, non-plussed expression to them, Deb's sapphire eyes were as hypnotic as ever.

Deb yanked herself free, glaring at her ex-boyfriend. _Ex-boyfriend. It sounds so juvenile. _But it fit right now since Dan was acting so juvenile. "**What**?"

"Where's Keith? Every **father** should be around to watch his son play."

"What's it to you? Lucas isn't **yours** – what do you care?"

And there it was again. Was she trying to rub that in? Like it was supposed to hurt him or something? Dan scowled right back at the woman. "Just a simple question Deb. Why isn't Keith–"

"Why isn't Keith what?"

Dan and Deb both appeared startled. It was like the man had just materialized out of nowhere. Deb recovered first, smiling smugly. "He's right here," she answered belatedly.

Keith only looked between the two of them, somewhat confused. He said nothing, letting Deb link her arm with his and lead him into the gym. Deciding he didn't want to know, Keith smiled as they looked for seats.

Sitting down as they game started, he waved to Lucas, who waved back – a noticeable grin on the boy's normally solemn face. "Glad you could make it," Keith said to Deb as the buzzer went off, signaling the beginning of the game.

* * *

End chapter. Was coming to the game a mistake? Will this be the short-lived secret? Review and I might just tell you! See you next chapter people!


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